Family: So, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes, I have many.
Family: Many boyfriends?
Me: Yes
Family: And they don't know you're cheating on them?
Me: Well, the thing is, they don't really know they're dating me.
Family: ...
Me: And some on them have other girlfriends.
Family: ...
Me: And most of them are dead...
Family: ...
Me: And a bunch of people keep telling me they're fictional characters but they're just jealous.
Family: ...
Me: ...
Family: *slowly backs away*
