Maverick and Her Ways (GirlxGirl)

We Should Date

Chapter Thirty-Seven:
We Should Date

"They're still playing Spin the Bottle." Dennis announced when he decided to join me. I was playing Mario Kart by myself, because seeing Dani kiss Natasha triggered something in me that I didn't want to face at the moment.

It made me feel uncomfortable, and I cringed at the thought of them kissing. I realized then that it was me who has a problem with it. I couldn't bear the thought two girls kissing, and I hate myself for thinking that way.

I'm a fucking hypocrite.

I didn't have to give Dennis a reply, because he could already tell that I was upset. So, I continued to play, and drove Baby Daisy through Rainbow Road like a pro. I focused hard so I wouldn't have to deal with falling off a cliff, like my life seems to be heading to right now. I'm not even exaggerating because I genuinely believe that it was the truth.

"Talk to me." Dennis said, and sat himself down beside me on the couch. He threw an arm over my shoulders, and I leaned into him to get comfortable. "You never talk about your problems with me."

"How do you know that I have a problem?" I asked him, almost nonchalantly.

"I need to go to the washroom." He said, while using his fingers to quote what I said when I excused myself from the crowd. "You never came back to us."

"Maybe because people gives me anxiety." I replied.

"Bullshit." He said, and chuckled. "You love people."

"I don't like people who hate me." I replied honestly.

"There would always be someone who would hate you, Mave." Dennis explained. "No matter how hard you try to make them to like you-"

"I don't want to talk about this philosophical nonsense." I cut him off, while running over Mario and flattening him down Rainbow Road. "You're drunk, and I bet this conversation wouldn't even make sense at all."

"Just talk to me, Mave." Dennis said and nudging me. "These past few days, I feel like I don't know you at all."

"That's because I don't either." I replied softly. "Do you know that I'm a horrible person?"

"Yes." Dennis replied.

I hit him on the arm, which made my hand hurt because I didn't expect that his biceps would be that hard.

"No, Dennis. I'm serious. I'm so sick and tired of myself disappointing people."

"You don't have to prove yourself to these people, err whoever we're talking about."

"You don't understand." I sighed. "I kind of do. I'm the bad person, not them. I feel so judgemental, and hypocritical to things that matter the most to me."

"What are we talking about?" Dennis asked, looking all confused. "You're contradicting yourself by saying that my speech didn't make sense but now you're-"

"I like Dani." I blurted out in a low voice while not looking at him. My eyes focused on Rainbow Road as I drove Baby Daisy to her final lap. "I like her a lot. I've kissed her- like... full on make out with her, and she makes me feel things that I shouldn't be feeling because- And I don't even know for sure if I like girls. Maybe I'm gay. Who knows!"