Dead Without You (MarkiplierXReader)

Part 23

Am I just doing this to make me feel better?

I was on Mark's laptop checking out the job applications.

Nope.
Nope.
Nope.

We'd like you to come in for an interview.

What? Me? Well of course me, but really? I kept reading.

Something something tomorrow something something 3 o'clock something something Taco Bell. I would love to! I didn't even know I applied to Taco Bell. How was I going to get there? How far is it, I don't want to make Mark drive while he's sick. I can probably walk there. But what if it is too far away, what if he has to drive me there everyday? I can't do that, he has work too. I shouldn't- the Taco Bell is under a mile away, I can walk.

Now that was a close one.

I don't have formal clothes! They'll think I'm a slob, I won't get a job and Mark will kick me out because I'm a loser! This is bad! No it's not, I'm just overreacting. I just need to wear my f/c shirt and jeans, that'll work, right? Hopefully, but right now I need to work on what I'm going to say to them tomorrow.

_______

Mark has been in the recording room all day. I told him to take it easy and I'm afraid he's not. He's going to get sicker because of how awesome he is.

I never thought I'd think that.

I blew on the hot spoonful of soup. Maybe some chicken noodle soup will make him feel better. I tasted it and it seemed good enough. Nothing you make will even be good enough for someone like Mark. I'm not a magician, I can't make good soup from thin air. I can't even make good soup from good soup ingredients. But I can make decent soup from good soup ingredients. I wish this felt like enough but it doesn't, to bad I'm not the greatest soup chef in the world. I'm more like the world's most decent soup chef.

Mark, I'm sorry I made you such decent soup.

______

I walked up to the recording room door with my decent soup and listened for talking. If he wasn't he was just editing.

...

Not a sound.

"Mark." I knocked on the door lightly.

"Come in." He replied. I opened the door with my right hand while holding the (decent) soup in my left.

"I made you some chicken noodle soup." It's only decent.

"You didn't have to do that." Mark gave a warm smile as he looked at the bowl in my hand. His nose was redder than earlier.

"You look worse." I said as I brought the soup to him.

"Thank you." He said sarcastically.

"That's the response I expected when I said I made you soup."

"Sorry." He laughed before looking up at me from his seat widening his eyes to make him look more serious. "Thank you Y/n, it looks great." He gave a smile that just melted my heart.

"That smile made the time I took worth it." I smiled back at him. "Now stop looking so serious, it's creeping me out." He backed up and gave a quiet laugh.

"Okay." He turned to the soup and took a bite... can you take a bit out of soup? "This is delicious!" He took another spoonful. That's great to hear. I smiled as I just watched him. How weird is this? Watching a sick 20something year old man eat soup. I should say something, but something that won't force him to talk while he tries to eat.

I have a job interview tomorrow.

"Oh! Mark, good news!" He looked up awaiting what I was going to say. "I have an interview tomorrow!" I smiled wide.

Mark gave a big smile then swallowed his soup. "That's great." He spoke. His eyes were partially closed, his eyes looked tired. I should leave him alone, if he's not going to sleep he might need his talking energy in his videos.

"Okay Mark, I'm gonna..." I pointed at the door behind me. "Do stuff. Don't work yourself to death." I turned to leave.

"I won't, have fun doing stuff." I closed the door behind me. I hope the soup will make him feel better.

_____

I sat on Mark's bed. I didn't know what to do so I just thought about Mark. I figured out what I thought about Mark. I remembered him letting me hug him when I was scared, I remember when he told me he wanted me to stay with him here. I remember when he carried me to my bed when I fell asleep in the living room. I remembered the kiss... I'm not fully sure but there might be a chance I'm, falling for Mark. I know I loved the kiss, I wished it'd be on the lips instead of the cheek. He told me he liked the kiss.

Why do I continue to believe Mark hates me when he says otherwise.

Because mom said the same thing...

I need to stop doubting myself, I need to be strong. I need to believe in myself even if others don't. I need to know what I'm feeling and what are just thoughts passing by. I need to understand that I am falling for Mark. In my defence who wouldn't? He's kind and funny and handsome.. not that that last one mattered. He has told me himself that he wants me here, why is it so hard for me to understand. What is wrong with me? Why do I doubt myself so much? Why don't I care about how I turn out? Why do I believe I ruin everyone's life when in the back of my mind I know it's not true? Why do I hate myself so much?

I'm going to change my ways, somehow...

I know, I did, I have, fallen for Mark.

______

Hello again, another chapter FINALLY! Took me long enough, as usual... Sorry about that. So comment and I would love to talk to you if you want to. Have a great day and don't let anyone else pull you down. Be sad if your sad just don't let it control you.

BUH BYE!!! Lol (lots of love)

-Me