Dead Without You (MarkiplierXReader)

Part 24

I know, I did, I have, fallen for Mark.

What exactly am I supposed to do with this information? Am I just supposed to go up to him and tell him 'i love you'?

Wait, I love you?

I thought I only had a crush, is this more? It can't be, I must be crazy, you can't fall in love that quickly. I don't even know what love feels like. How am I supposed to know if this is more than a schoolgirl crush if I've never been in love, let alone been loved. Maybe that was just a slip in my words. Maybe I didn't mean it. But what if I did and I just don't know it yet. I didn't think I could be so confused in my own head. I can't figure it out.

Too bad I have to figure it out before talking to Mark.

But really do I? Couldn't I go to him and tell him that I have feelings for him but I'm still unsure what those feelings are. How would he react. I couldn't tell him, at least not now. If he didn't feel the same we could drift apart. He could kick me out... He wouldn't do that, Mark wouldn't do that. But I should wait, at least until I'm sure of my feelings. Maybe I will wait until I move out, that way we won't have an awkward living situation.

I think I can wait that long.

__________

Earlier I made Mark some ramen when I went into his recording room he was sleeping again. Mark's doesn't seem to know when he needs to go to bed (not in real life I just wanted to make it this way). I woke him up to bring him to bed and he didn't refuse. I let him know I made him ramen before letting him sleep. I stood in the room just looking at him worriedly. He needed sleep, he needed food, today he just needed to stop working.

That was about an hour ago, I've been sitting in the room on his wheely-chair since then. I used his laptop to look at his channel, I never really had time for that previously. I looked up occasionally to check on him but he barely even moved.

"Mark," I said quietly to myself, "rest, you're sick." I spoke pointless words to the sleeping man. "Why do you work yourself to sickness? Why do you continue to work even when I ask you not to? Mark I'm worried about you..." I looked down and squinted my eyes, even quieter I whispered "I care so much Mark, I do I really do. You keep me on my toes, I don't know if you're getting better. In fact it seems as if you're getting worse." I looked back up at his sleeping body. "Don't get up, please. Please stay in bed, you need rest... Mark I care so deeply about you. Mark I have feelings for you... Stay, stay asleep." I looked down, depressed knowing Mark wouldn't do so. "I kissed you for a reason." I shook my head lightly before getting up and leaving the room. I need to do something other than talk to my sleeping crush.

I don't thinks that's healthy.

Mark P.O.V.

I started to wake up, my nose felt runny and my throat was dry. I shifted slightly to get more comfortable, maybe it'd help me go back to sleep. My body ached, being sick sucks. I needed to edit a few more videos tomorrow, I hope I can get them out on time. I felt my muscles relax as I started to drift back to sleep when I heard Y/n speak.

"Mark." She whispered, I think she didn't know if I was awake or not, I was about to turn to her but she spoke again. "Rest, you're sick." I guess she knew. "Why do you work yourself to sickness? Why do you continue to work even when I ask you not to? Mark I'm worried about you." She shouldn't be, I'm fine. "I care so much Mark, I do I really do." My mind started to go, I could hardly hear her as I couldn't help but sleep. I opened my eyes to try and hold on to the real world and that's when I didn't know if I heard her right or if I was just imagining things. "Mark I have feelings for you." My heavy eyelids fell back down. Before I could stop hearing everything around me, she said "I kissed you for a reason." My body felt as if it drifted far away, but my mind kept repeating it, I kissed you for a reason.

______

I couldn't stop watching him. The clock said 2:43 but I didn't care. I didn't want him to have to get up, if he needed anything I was there for it. I didn't know what had made me so scared for him, he was just sick he was going to be fine.

It might be me just getting used to caring for someone again. This time I know I can care and not be hurt. I was so worried and over what? It was nothing, he said himself he was fine. Why didn't I believe him? I should, I do believe him.

Why the hell am I so worried? The question is one that I had asked myself multiple times during the hours of watching over Mark. He didn't even need me I should go to sleep. But I wasn't tired I couldn't sleep I couldn't stop worrying over nothing, he wasn't going to die so why did I feel like he was? Why was I so afraid that the second I closed my eyes he'd be gone? He wasn't just going to disappear he wasn't going anywhere. I felt my eyes start to water but as I wiped them my hand didn't feel wet. Why was I so afraid?