Being You

Chapter 8

"El! What the hell is going on with you?"

Ella ignored Jeremy as he tried to pelt her with yet another question. Yes, she'd felt shit that morning, but now she didn't really want to talk about it. She felt like saying any more out loud would only make the situation feel all the more real, and that was the last thing she wanted.

"El, come on. I'm so worried about you and I can't even tell anyone else about it. What the fuck do you expect me to do?"

"How about leaving me alone," she suggested dryly, keeping her eyes trained on the street, waiting for the bus to arrive.

Jeremy was silent for a minute. Fucking finally, Ella thought, aching with frustration. When his voice broke the silence again she actually groaned out loud. "Ella, I need to tell you something."

"What is it this time? Do you think I need body swap counselling? Or are you actually thinking you don't want to change back? Tell me." She spat the words spitefully.

She made the mistake of facing him and saw the hurt in his eyes. And guilt. That piqued her curiosity. "What did you do?" she asked accusingly.

"Um... I may or may not have turned all of your friends against you. Or — well, they're not friends with you anymore. At any rate, they've ditched me. You. Us."

Ella clenched her fists and looked up at the sky. This could not be happening. Surely it was a dream. A terrifying, scarring dream that she would find difficult to shake off when she woke up. Anger coursed through her until her whole body shook with it. "I have a solid urge to punch you right now. Oh my god, I want to hurt you so bad."

Jeremy squeaked. "Please don't."

Ella let out a stiff, heavy breath, fighting to control herself. "You know what, fuck you. I'm going." She crossed the road, ignoring her brother's protests. She heard the bus rumble up the hill to stop briefly before roaring back along its route, and when she turned around, the bus shelter was empty. She sighed, feeling her anger dissipate quickly into emptiness. Continuing down the footpath, she realised that the streets had never looked so lonely as they did now, deserted and swept with dead leaves from the skeletal maple trees in the park. Ella walked into the cold breeze, feeling her nose tingle as it turned red, headed for who knew where.

. . .

Jeremy couldn't stop worrying about Ella all day. His teacher gave him a questioning glance in biology when she noticed Ella's (well, Jeremy's) empty chair, and the rest of the class noticed, with some sort of sadistic glee, his change of seat. He now sat half the room away from the girls that used to be Ella's friends. He would have been fine with this, if only Ella hadn't been so upset about it. But it's to be expected, he admitted to himself. They were all the friends she had. She's not used to being a loner like I am.

Three classes and a lunch break later, Jeremy found himself in front of the maths classrooms. His mind had been so absent that he hadn't even noticed that he'd walked there in the first place, but by now he didn't even care.

"Hey... Ella?"

A voice broke into Jeremy's thoughts unexpectedly. He looked up to see Ashad looking down at him. He swallowed and averted his eyes. "Hi," Jeremy murmured back, unsure whether it would be ruder to ignore him or to reply to the guy he had embarrassed in class.

"Hey, I'm sorry about the other day," Ashad apologised. Jeremy looked up in surprise and found that the other boy's brown eyes looked soft and emotional. Sincere.

"I, uh—" Jeremy coughed awkwardly, "no, I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault."

Ashad nodded. "Well, it wasn't yours either. Those guys are pricks." Jeremy caught a hint of anger buried in Ashad's usually gentle voice.

"I just... I'm tired of fighting them. All this social hierarchy stuff confuses me," Jeremy sighed.

Ashad snorted. "You're telling me? Everyone's picking on each other for the most meaningless things. They think I'm a terrorist just because my family are from Afghanistan."

"Well we both know that's bullshit," Jeremy frowned. "And just because my si— I mean, because I like girls, that somehow makes me disgusting."

"Like that would make you a lesser human being," Ashad agreed in disbelief, shaking his head. "I mean, you seem to be a cool person, I think that's far more important."

Jeremy blushed at the bold compliment. "Thanks. It's nice to know someone appreciates me."

"Oh, and I'm Ashad by the way, in case you didn't catch my name."

Jeremy looked up at him with a small grin. "Glad to finally meet you properly, Ashad."

Ashad smiled at him, and at that moment the teacher arrived. Jeremy bypassed the seat Ella usually took in maths and asked if he could sit next to Ashad. The boy's eyes crinkled with a smile and he nodded. Jeremy felt a sense of excitement and happiness well up inside of him.

Am I... making a friend?