Being You

Chapter 4

After fifth period Ella met Jeremy at the front gates so that they could catch the bus home together. Usually Ella would sit with a couple of her friends, but seeing as Jeremy had ditched them to sit with her, there wasn't much she could do. And if she was honest with herself, she was glad. It was nice to be next to someone who knew her so well that she didn't have to keep up an act or worry about being judged around them.

When they got home, Ella and Jeremy called "Hi Mum" simultaneously towards the kitchen.

"Hey kids, I just made some chocolate muffins, want to try them?"

"I'm okay," Jeremy rejected the offer tiredly and went upstairs.

Ella shrugged. "I'll have one later," she called. "Maybe two."

Their mum popped her head through the window of the breakfast bar and stared at her in shock. "You, passing up an offer of food? What's going on here, Jer?"

"Just had a big day Mum, I need to chill out. I'll talk to you later, okay?" Ella made her way upstairs quickly before her mum could respond, but she still heard the weary sigh that followed.

Jeremy was sitting on his bed, slumped up against the wall with his eyes closed. Ella joined him and suddenly she wasn't as tired. Her eyes were wide open and she felt an awareness that she only ever experienced in the strange bouts of hyperactivity that followed an extreme lack of sleep. Thoughts started racing through her mind, memories of all the awkward interactions that had occurred throughout the day.

"Oh god," she moaned. "I never knew it would be this hard."

"You're telling me?" Jeremy snorted. He shook his head in wonder. "El, your friends are psychotic. Crazy. Seriously."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Um, they're all bloody social justice warriors." Jeremy put on an even higher pitched voice and squeaked mockingly, "'Uh, we need feminism because I'm so hot that I get catcalled all the time. And we really should go to the gay pride parade this weekend. Plus there's a fundraiser for the homeless next week and I need you guys to come and support me!'"

Ella glared at him. "Duh, we actually care about other people." She flicked his forehead hard and he winced.

"Nah, but they're only doing it for some misguided sense of morality. You can tell, Mia was so eager to get her volunteer hours up for that dumb premier thing, what do you call it?"

"Premier's Volunteer Recognition Program," Ella said reluctantly through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, that one. I bet they just want their pictures posted everywhere in the school newsletter and on the website. What an ego trip."

Ella scowled. "So what, at least they're helping people! What have you ever done for the community?"

Jeremy gazed back at her with a small smug smile. "Well, for one I don't act like a self-important prick—"

Ella slapped him in the face. She could tell by his expression that it stung. Well, he deserved it, she told herself as she stalked back to her room. He was attacking my friends. What a douche.

She made to slam the door but decided against it, unwilling to draw her mum's attention to anything to do with her and Jeremy for the time being. So she stood in the doorway, wondering what she should do. She was so shaken up that doing homework was something she couldn't even consider. Before she had a chance to decide, however, her mum chose that moment to come upstairs.

"Oh, Jer, what're you doing in here?" she asked curiously.

"Uh..." Ella stuttered, noticing her mistake. "Um, just getting Ella's headphones," she improvised, grabbing them from the desk. She waved them triumphantly. "Gotta listen to this new band she found, see ya!"

She made her escape, hoping that it didn't seem too much like avoidance. Then she realised that she had to face the brother she'd just slapped. "Fuck," she muttered, but pushed the door open anyway.

. . .

Jeremy jumped as Ella reappeared in his room. He cringed at her angry expression, hoping she wouldn't slap him again, but she closed her eyes, breathed, and her features softened.

"I'm sorry, Jer," she uttered quietly, looking him in the eye. "I shouldn't have done that. I really need to learn to keep my anger in check."

"I'm sorry too, El," Jeremy said. "I was a total bitch to you, I deserved it."

Ella bit her lip. "No one deserves to be hit. I mean, I kinda proved your point with the whole 'pretending to care about other people' thing."

Jeremy chuckled. "True. Okay, you were a bitch. And I forgive you." He held his arms open wide with a condescending self-righteous grin.

Ella couldn't resist laughing at his stupid expression. "Don't make me slap you again," she warned dryly, leaning into the hug.

"I'll try not to."

Jeremy basked for a moment in the comfort of the embrace before Ella pulled back to hold him at arm's length. "I love you Jer, even if I'm a bitch to you sometimes," she told him seriously. "Well, a lot," she amended.

Jeremy smiled back. "I know."