Leave Me Alone { n.s. }

Chapter 19 - Demons In My Head

Nathan's POV

After i'd left Skye's, I felt relieved. That had gone better than I planned. I was scared that she would say no and slam the door in my face or something. The worst case scenario. But she said yes! 

I went home after i'd left and Tom was there.

"What did she say?" He asked when I walked in.

"She said yes." I replied.

"That's great." He nodded.

"How's it going with Alex?" I asked him.

"Great. I really like her." He said.

"Don't bite her too early."

"Who said I would?"

I gave him a look. Tom has had a tendency to turn his girlfriends early. Too early.

Me, on the other hand, I wait for a while. But since now i've found my soulmate, the desire to suck her blood grows more and more every day. So I might end up biting earlier than planned.

"You know you wanted to."

"So? You know you want to bite Skye."

"That's different."

"How?"

"She's my soulmate."

"Who's to say that Alex may or may not be my soulmate?" Tom suggested.

"I don't know?! That's for you to figure out mate." I said.

He shrugged. "Do you plan on getting a tux?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "How about you?"

"Mhmm." He nodded.

"I think i'm going to turn Skye on the day of the dance."

"Oh sure, romantic." He scoffed.

"I never said I was trying to be romantic." I replied.

"Well the least you can do is try." He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. He does know there's no possible way to turn a girl whilst being romantic right? I need legitimate proof to believe that that could happen.

"I'm going out." He said suddenly and got up to go. I didn't protest as the door closed behind him.

I decided to go out myself and feed. 

-

When I made it out onto the trail, I saw a girl walking. She was coming in my direction. I quickly hid away and waited.

I then snatched her up and took her deep within the trees to keep her quiet. I had my hand over her mouth and her eyes were wide with fear. I could feel my eyes change.

"Now, i'll take my hand off your mouth if you promise you won't yell." I said. She nodded frantically and I slowly removed my hand. I shouldn't have done that, though.

She started screaming and frantically moving to shake me off of her, but I kept myself pressed against her so she wouldn't move.

"Shut up!" I yelled. She got quiet instantly.

"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't yell." I said. 

"Wh-Who are you! What do you want with me?!" She said with tears going down her face.

"It's not a matter of who I am, darling." I whispered in her ear.

"Are you going to kill me?!" She whispered loudly.

I smirked, flashing my fangs. "Precisely."

I brought my face down to her neck, grazing my fangs ever so slightly over her vein. Just enough for her to feel it. She shuddered at the touch and I didn't stall anymore as I sank my fangs into her neck.

She tried to squirm around but soon went limp as all of her blood left her body quickly. I dropped her in heap on the ground. She looked so pale and her eyes were rolled back in her head so far that only the whites in her eyes were showing.

My eyes changed back to normal and I sped away.

-

This is exactly what I hate about being a Vampire. I'm never in control with my kills.

They are.

"They" being the demons. They control me into killing so many innocents. Way too many. I don't like it, but a lot of times I have no choice. Because of them, when I kill, i'm not even Nathan anymore. I'm..someone else. Evil, as they would describe me.

When really, it's them who are evil. They can even turn to human form, and they have before just to torment me. They can shift into just about anything.

Including me.

If I didn't do something they asked, they would shift into me and hurt the people I care about most. It was hard to tell me and thme apart if I stood next to one while it was me. But I learned that there's one distinctive difference. 

The real me has green eyes, the demons' have a piercing yellow. When they turn into me and walk around as if they were me, they have a peircing yellow. That's how people could tell me, from a demon.

It's not my fault! They mess with my mind and control me into doing reckless things sometimes. I don't know why they do this to me. It's whispering in my brain controlling me into doing things I don't want to do.

I have to do what they say or they'll hurt me. I've disobeyed them before, and I..paid an extreme price for it, sort to say.From then on, i've always obeyed their orders even if it meant taking innocent lives in the process.

I had to obey them and do everything they wanted me to. Whether I liked it or not. It was never my decision when they gave me orders. I feel such remorse for all the lives i've taken because of my "special diet" and the demons themselves.

I know, if it were up to me, I wouldn't do these most of these things.

But sometimes it's not up to me. Sometimes it's up to the demons.

It has become unbearable on more than one occasion. I can't run from them, and I can't do anything to make them stop. They taunt me day in and day out, sometimes making me feel like shit and that i'm worthless. 

They call me evil, but they're the evil ones!

I don't want to be evil, and i'm not! But if you saw how I kill, you would swear up and down that I was! 

They make me afraid of myself.

The demons in my head are set out to make my life a living hell. And i've fought to not let them win for the longest time.  But it's a power struggle every day. And i'm not about to lose my sanity.