And Then Death Held Out His Hand

Now

My alarm goes off at five in the morning, breaking the sound of sirens with its blaring sound. I still have the nightmares, after all this time, always. They don't affect me now, I know what comes ahead, am prepared for their deaths to be replayed over and over on the screen of my eyelids.
I swing out of bed and grab my sneakers. Me and Christine got into the habit of running every morning.
I run down the stairs and open the door just as Christine turns into my driveway. We don't talk, just start running, feet pounding on the path. The trees on either side grow thicker to form a canopy, leaves blurring as we pick up speed.
I count with my footfalls, breathing as controlled as I can. We slow as we reach the small, wooden coffee shop. I tie my hair into a sloppy ponytail and order my coffee. I love this place, they know my order off by heart I've been here that many times.
We walk slowly back, sipping our drinks, just as the sky turns from pink to blue. I clench my hands as I hear the distant sound of a police car. Christine looks at me with a small smile, "You good?" I nod and try to control my breathing.
Christine returns to talking about her new crush. I try to listen but it's hard when your trying not to collapse.
We reach my driveway and I turn to wave at my best friend.
As I step through the door, little Charley latches on to my leg and squeals his interpretation of my name, which is Stella.
The house is small, but perfect compared to the cold orphanage. I head straight to the shower, disentangling Charley as I go. The shower pounds boiling water on my aching muscles. I let steam fill the room, clouding the mirror, hiding the scar on my collarbone. It just brings back unpleasant memories.
I dress and pack for school quickly. When I close the room to my bedroom, I look at the last family picture we took, a week before the accident.
"Come on Evie," I call out to my sister. Her bright smile and blue eyes are all it takes to forget that night. I smile back and grab my bag and phone.

Twenty minutes later we reach the senior school, crowded with teenagers, the grade seven ducking under arms to find a place to hide. Evie disappears with a wave and is off already chattering with her friends. I sigh, I never made friends that easily. People were wary of me, well it's not surprising, what with my breakdowns and all.

Christine has always been my only friend. Others came and went, but she was always by my side. I forge forwards through the crowds of people and head for my locker. I open it and grab out my math textbook.

The bell goes and I walk to my form class. Christine drops into the seat beside me all the while staring at a guy with dark hair at the front of the room.
" That's him, huh?" She nods unblinking. I roll my eyes, it won't be him next week though.

The rest of the day goes slowly as I attend class after class. Lunch was the same, the only thing Christine wanted to talk about was her new crush. Not that interesting when you've heard it a hundred times.

After school I walk to work at the local restaurant. I put on my apron and serve table number 4. The next three hours fly past and I'm exhausted by the time I tach home. I struggle to stay awake during dinner and while I'm doing home work. The history text blurs on the page and swims in front of my eyes. I don't know why I'm so tired, all I did today is what I do everyday.

I give up and change in to pyjamas. I tip toe in to the bedroom I share with Evie. I gaze at her peaceful, sleeping face and remember when she was little and would cuddle up to me at night.

That night the nightmares come back, the sirens louder than ever, the pain more real. I feel my families pain as the car spins to a halt and the flames start to burn.
I wake up shaking, drenched in sweat. It's a long time until I get to sleep again.