And Then Death Held Out His Hand

Pain

I wake up with my head spinning. I stagger out of bed my head pounding with the alarm. I clutch my stomach as a wave of nausea washes over me.
In the bathroom I splash my face with cold water and wait to the sickness fades. I cover my pale face with make up to stop Christine worrying.
I start running as Christine turned in up the drive. The sky turned gold as the sun started to rise.

The trees start to bend as the ground shakes. My breath catches in my chest and I slow in pain. I sink to the ground, Christine's words far away. I cover my mouth in an attempt not to throw up. Dots swim in front of my eyes and I give way to the darkness.
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I wake up in a stark white room with cords running into me. Evie and Claudia ( my foster carer) stand up as they notice I'm awake. Evie rushes to my side and hugs me. I gasp in pain and she quickly lets go.
A doctor comes in and stands at my side looking grave. " We are not sure what your diagnosis is yet as we are waiting upon your blood test results. " he sighs and doesn't meet my eyes. " I'm sorry, not of the main possibilities is cancer."
My heart beats faster and I refuse to reach Evie's eye.
I hear stifled sobs and turn my head into the pillow to hide my own. I force myself to look up and give a weak smile saying," there's still a possibility it might be something else." But I have a feeling that the doctors right. That it's cancer. A new question pops into my head, overtaking the "am I going to die?". "What type is it?" The doctor looks right at me. "Leukaemia."
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I don't really understand what leukaemia is, I mean I've heard of it but don't know what it is.
The rest will come back with results at the end of the week, a time I am dreading and can not wait for. Evie was begging to stay but they had to leave, as Charley was with a neighbour. The hospital is silent, apart from nurses footfalls and the trundle of the dinner cart.
The lights a too bright, so unlike the soft fire light feel of my desk lamp at home. I picture what Evie is doing right now. I smile as I automatically know. Reading. What else?
The street lights outside make their way through the chinks in the blinds, and I wonder what the sky looks like. It's a habit of mine to look out the window every night before I go to sleep. My dad always lifted me up and sang a song to me as we gazed at the stars.
I squeeze my eyes shut and imagine the biggest, brightest stars shining on black velvet.
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I wake up hours later to a scream. It's full of misery, the sound of the world ending. The cry goes on and on, wreaked by sobs. A mothers pain as her baby leaves her behind.
I don't go back to sleep that night.
The next morning I hear a giggle and wake up to Charley sitting on my stomach. He rocks backwards and forwards and I wince as he hits a tender spot. I shift him off and peer at my hip. Purple bruises spread outwards like feelings all the way up my side. Green and yellow mix together in the middle at the worst spot. I'm still staring when Charley tries to look under the blanket too. I kiss his head and hide my tears in his blond locks.
He looks up at me and grins, rising up to kiss me back.
It's then I notice Evie standing in the corner, silent tears tracking down her face. Her eyes are bloodshot and I can see from here that her hands shake.
I hold out my arms and she steps in to them, shaking with suppressed sobs.
It seems like the end of the world until Charley wiggles between us and laughs. It sets us off, shaking with laughter, tears still in our eyes. A wave of tiredness washes over me and I lye back.
Evie lays her head on my chest and whispers. The last words I hear are " don't leave me alone."
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When I next wake up, the sun is high in the sky and my sister is gone. But someone else is here.