And Then Death Held Out His Hand

The Slim Chance

I must of fallen asleep because I wake up with sun pouring in through the open window and Jacob is gone. I immediately think of Echo.
It's then that I remember that today I begin chemo. I'm not even scared any more, i just know I have to survive. Evie has to go to school today so I'm alone. God I hope she's alright.
I start to uncover the foggy memories of last night. I remember talking about mum and dad, then getting diagnosed. He had told me everything, even breaking down when he remembered Echo's lifeless body, small in the hospital bed.
I hope he'll come and see me today.

I have nothing to do until later in the afternoon, so I work up the courage to leave the room. I need to take my mind off later today.
I stand up and unhook my IV stand. I take a deep breath and step out in to the hall. I walk up and down the corridors, glad to get out of the bedroom.
Some doors are open, showing wards full of sick kids. One is shut tight with sobs echoing from behind. I have to force myself not to think about what is causing it.
One is open and I feel myself stop in front of it. Jacob is slumped in a chair half asleep, holding his sisters hand. Echo's cheeks are hollow and I can see her bones.
I step forwards and touch his shoulder. He looks up, cheeks stained with tears. I'm glad he's not afraid to cry.
Echo gives a hacking cough and Jacob lifts her up by her shoulders, until she calms. He lays her back down and stands. "Coffee?" I nod and twitch my lips in a smile.
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The canteen if full of people, the mood the happiest you can get in this bland portion of hell.
I order my favourite. It makes me sad that they don't know my order, that I'm just another miserable customer in need of caffeine.
We find an empty table and sit in awkward silence. Jacob breaks the silence by talking about how his form teacher won't let him take days off school, about how he still has to do his maths test.
It makes me sad that I may not be able to ever do another maths test.
My eyes flick to the clock and gasp for air as I realise that I only have an hour to treatment. Jacob follows my gaze and traces the outline of my hand with his fingers. "You'll be fine."
I know he's thinking of Echo and how she is not fine.
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Chemotherapy.
The doctor continues explaining the process and side effects but that's the only word that registers on my brain. Like cancer, it even sounds deadly, like a form of torture.
My hand tingles with the memory of Jacob's fingers on mine.

The doctor pulls on gloves and picks up a needle. The sight reminds me of the ambulance ride after the accident so many years ago. My arm trembles as it goes into the vein sticking out.
I fall asleep as the medicine starts to work.

I wake up feeling tireder than I was when I fell asleep. Evie is lying beside me, her hair sticking to her face with tears. She's fast asleep. I stroke her hair and think back to when she was little, when we would make cubby houses out of cardboard boxes and giggle uncontrollably. She hasn't laughed like that for what feels like years.

Outside the sky is a beautiful pink, highlighting the skyscrapers of the city. The hospital is far from where I live and I feel bad for making my foster family drive here every day.

The chemo has left me feeling exhausted and achy, like my bones are bruised.
I miss school, despite the stares of my peers, looking at my 2nd hand clothes and too small shoes.
Most of all, I miss being normal, going to school, running, even doing homework. Stuck in the hospital, it makes me feel like the end could come at any moment. These walls are full of death, so much that it hides the memory of the people who recover. Hospitals are not what you would call a happy place.
A nurse bustles in and checks my vitals and the collection of beeping machines. She doesn't even look me in the eye the whole entire time. Yeah, that visit made me feel completely normal. Not.

Evie gives a sigh and opens her eyes. For a second, she's back in the room that we share together. It doesn't last. Her eyes darken with hurt and lack of hope. Even though she doesn't remember what happened to our parents, she understands that she's alone. Except for me.
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The days pass slowly, and the first round of chemo finishes. I start to feel better in the weeks in between the rounds, but before I know it, the next one arrives.
I watch the day pass through the small window, stuck in time as everyone goes on with their lives. The clock ticks ever so slowly, making it hard to concentrate with the mile of silence between each tick. The weeks turn into months and visitors become less, my stay feeling permanent. Only one person is a constant staple in my life.

The boy with the dying sister.

Echo became lifeless, her earlier liveliness snatched away from her. She still laughs, Jacob looking at her with sad eyes, storing her young face in his memory.

All I can do is wait for him to come to tell me news, my condition too poor for me to walk down the corridor. Evie struggles to find time to come and visit, exam time at school just around the corner.

Today's the start of my third round of chemo, the cancerous cells not responding to the other rounds. The needle goes in and I sigh. What if this continues, what if it doesn't work. Echo's downfall makes me loose hope. Frustration builds up inside me and I clench my fists too resist the urge to rip
out the many cords and machines keeping me alive. It would be easy.

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Sorry that the chapters are so short, I'm too inpatient. Hope u like it so far, it's just getting started.