Hated- Really?

Part 40: The Unexpected Turn? Really??

It was hardly couple of months left for placement in Rudra's college. And even Shanaya was preparing for her terms, her fourth semester exams being due in a few months. But she could never stop thinking about what Rudra had mentioned the other day.

Was he being serious?

If she got pregnant would he really marry her no matter what?

Her mind playing with her, started thinking in wrong direction once again.

But was she bold enough to make a move by herself or did she know how to seduce a guy?

And Rudra was not that weak. He had a great deal of control on himself. He had proved it already.

Well.. There was no harm in trying. Was there?

So that was it...

Decision made!!

For next few weeks, Shanaya tried her best to lose her virginity to him but either he was in control or she herself would cry in pain and push him again if he tried.

One day, she made herself relax as much as possible, tried to make herself mentally strong, kept chanting that it's normal and happens with everyone. And then she started teasing him. Initially, Rudra did not respond but when she started touching and kissing him, he stopped her:

"Don't!!" When he saw confused and hurt look at her face, he cupped her cheeks and added softly:

"Don't start the game that you can't finish Shanaya. You have no idea what you do to me. The only reason that I don't act upon my needs is because I can't see you in pain. But at the end, I am a man. I don't want to do anything that would hurt you in any way. I can wait till you are mentally prepared."

"But I am prepared!!" She whined.

"No you are not! Besides, it's not a good idea. I don't want you to get pregnant at this time. None of us is settled and I can wait till you are mentally prepared or even till marriage, if you want. You have your studies, I have my career and think what people will say if they come to know that you got pregnant and still unmarried. If nothing, think about your Dad, your younger sisters. It will get quite difficult for them to survive. So please, don't make me do something that we both regret." And then he kissed her cheeks.

She knew everything that he said and was surprised that he thought so much about her and her family when she was ready to keep everything aside and do whatever it took make him hers. She didn't know whether she should be happy for him being so concerned and practical or disappointed for being rejected. She could not force him in doing something that HE regretted later. She knew she wouldn't regret anything she did for him, or just to be with him.

She did not mind if she would be selfish bitch or crazy obsessive person when it came to him. She never had anyone who cared and loved this much or vice versa. Not only that, she had found her confidant in him that she had been searching for her whole life. She could not lose him, would not lose him at any cost.

She trusted him but did not trust her fate. He was talking about marriage but she did not know if they would get married at all, considering their family feuds, their personality and upbringing difference. She hardly understood him the way he understood her. How would they get along? And marriage??  To her, the word sounded as "termination of her freedom" or "chained". She would rather live in with him than getting married to him or anyone in that matter.

According to her, she loved her freedom most.

Hardly did she realized that she was already committed to him.

As for Rudra, he himself was not sure whether he wanted to get married at all. No. He didn't want that. Not at all. But saying that was important so that she would stop playing her teasing games.