Please God, take it away. Please can't I find someone to put out the internal flame that I have Inside my heart. I can't sleep and I don't eat. Someone is watching me.
Someone is always watching me.
Someone will notice if I step out of line. I'll get in trouble but I don't care. I just want to feel. I want to be myself I want to scream out all my feelings. I want to be ok again. I can feel it. I'm being watched now. I'm going to hell. There's no saving my soul. I'm a lost cause. I don't want the attention. I want the release. I want to breathe with out this heaviness on my chest. I hate this feeling. It's my life. But it's not. I can't be left alone. I don't want anyone to care because of my actions. I never wanted anyone to care. My reason is because I'm not good enough and im taking on all this stuff. But I dropped it all. God take away these people that are watching me. I can feel their eyes burn holes into my heart and soul. I have no privacy. I want to be alone. FUCK IT ALL! DEATH IS BETTER THAN THIS HELL IM LIVING. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. I'M ALWAYS LOOKING OVER MY BACK! Let me go God, let me see you. I don't want this life if it means my mind can never be at peace. I want to get away but where would I go? Nowhere because I can't drive. I'm going to disappear I swear. I'm not afraid of anything because I'm numb, I can't feel anymore. I just want to be alone. No more distractions. Just me and myself. I need to think. I need to let all of this out because it's making me sick. These feelings and the paranoia are going to cause me to slice my throat. God I'm failing at this life take me away so I stop hurting other people I've let down
