I have to do the unthinkable. I have to destroy what is destroying me. But this is much more different than throwing away blades or trying to get my life back in order. No this is something bigger, that I'd never expect to do so soon. Something I knew I had to do but I thought I could keep it from falling and fading away. But I've had to give up so much already. I hate it. I just never thought I would have to do all this or lose Maria, my best friend. I can't let her fall and yet she's slipping through my finger tips. I don't belong anywhere and that's why I'm losing everything. It makes me sad then I go to that stupid doctor. She says all this nice shit about me. Like why? No one else does. It doesn't help she doesn't listen. She cut me off and told me to let go. I have and now I don't know where I stand anymore. I don't know who any of my real friends are and that makes me upset. Because I'm always alone when I'm alone I get sad, when I get sad I find all me faults, when I find this cracks I start cutting and let the blood fill the cracks, when I cut I start breaking promises, when I break promises people get concerned and mad at me. When people get mad at me. I feel worse about myself. It's a nonstop circle.
