From Atheist to Christian

Relationships/Dating

Now, let me just start by saying, this is a HUGE topic to cover. There's just so many things that I could say about relationships that I don't even know where to begin. Sooo... let's start off at the beginning.

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Dating at a Young Age:

In my opinion, my definition of "dating too young" is anything under the age of 15 or 16. Now, a lot of you may be thinking "Susy, you're stupid. How is 15 too young to date?" (<--- lol at my impression of you).

But seriously, from the time you are 12-15 years old, you're still trying to figure out who you are as a person. These few years are some of the most important years of your life. If you are dating during those years, then let me just tell you, you could easily screw up what ever it is that you're still trying to work out. I've seen it happen before... I knew a girl who had starting dating at a young age. Unfortuantely she had to put up with a lot of peer pressure and she suddenly began to have sex during those few years. She is now addicted to it and has it on a weekly bases... with boys that she doesn't even really know. To tell you the truth, it really screwed her up and it's painful to watch a friend go down that path. Her faith in God is strong but I suppose it was never strong enough to withstand the tempation that she constantly struggles with.

Dating at an early age is also not a good idea because you're most likely still immature. You, being as young as you are, probably don't even know what it is that you want in life. You can't see the consiquences of going out at such a young age.

Now, I'm not going to lie. I started dating when I was fourteen.

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

Unfortunately, this was a point in my life where I was struggling a lot with who I was. I thought that in order to make myself feel better with who I was, I needed to have a boyfriend who would be able to do that for me. Let's just say it was more infatuation than love. We dated for almost three months and by the time our relationship ended, we didn't get along very well. I would still be struggling a lot if it weren't for the fact that God helped me through it all. I'm so grateful that I didn't go very far in the relationship at all.

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Infatuation VS Love:

This is a very touchy topic to a lot of people. For most, they can't see the difference between love, and infatuation.

Infatuation is something that will NEVER last. When I searched up the definition, this is what I found: "a foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction" or "An impulsive, irrational, often shallow and short-term romantic feeling." When a person is infatuated, they often mistake it for love because they don't really understand the concept of love. when I looked up the definition of love, I found all sorts of definitions. But, my definition of love is... something that lasts forever. In the bible, it is described as a strong emotion and a strong word in general.

If you tell all of your boyfriends/girlfriends that you love them... then it's not as special the next time you say it. Now, don't get me wrong, you can use it towards your family and friends all the time... but that kind of love is different than romantic love. Romantic love can lose it's passion. It won't mean as much if you say it too easily.

So remember, if you are going to say it, make sure you mean it first... and make sure that you know it'll last forever.

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Peer Pressure (Directly&Indirectly):

Oh boy... this is something I've experienced one too many times.

Directly: this can be when your friends are telling you that you need to be in a relationship for whatever reason,and they could be making you feel bad about it. For instance, if they were saying "Why don't you have a bf/gf? It's so much fun!" but who says you're ready for one? If you feel like you're being pressured into dating, then please just ask yourself first: "do I really want this right now and at this point in my life?"

Indirectly: I feel like this all the time.This would be whenever you feel jealousy after seeing a couple holding hands, kissing, etc. Don't worry about this one, everyone feels like this at some point in their life. All you need to do is remember that God will send you somebody special when He feels you are ready.

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Going Too Far:

Personally, I wouldn't really know much about this. Because, luckily, I am still very much a virgin. But honestly, if you feel like you're going to end up going too far with your boyfriend/girlfriend before you are ready, then I would either talk to them about it and how you're not ready, or I would get out of that relationship.

When you have sex with someone, you're giving a part of your heart to that person. And with each person that you have sex with, they're each getting a piece of you. By the time you're ready to settle down and by the time you actually find the right one... how much of your heart is going to be availavable? In my opinion, I find that this is something that contributes to the amount of divorces per year.

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Don't Lie to Yourself:

This is something that I find a lot of girls like to do to themselves. And it can be put into so many different situations...

Changing a Man: No offense or anything... but if you think you can change a man, well then you're fooling yourself. The only way a man is ever going to change is if he wills it himself. You have no control over what goes on in that head of his. So if you don't like the way he is than I would say either suck it up or leave. Theres absolutely no point in trying.

Abusive Relationships: Sweety, if he's verbally or physically hurting you or causing you any type of emotional pain, he doesnt love you. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. A real man would treat you with love, kindness, and respect.

Sex is Not Love: well, I'm going to say this straight up. If he says he loves you just to get into your pants... thats not actually qualified as love. Just sayin'.

there are so many other things that I could write at the moment... but I'm sure you can get the big picture.

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Cheating:

Okay, this is the worst thing you could do to a person. If you're so happy, then why do you have to cheat? Cheating just proves that you're not ready for a real relationship. So if you can't stay true, then you obviously can't be in a relationship.

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Being the Other Woman:

I really don't know why some women bother. So, if you happen to be the other woman, you might want to get outta there as fast as possible. Because first of all, if his girlfriend finds out... well, then you're in trouble.Second of all, I know you probably expect him to break up with his girlfriend and all... but even if he did how do you know if he's not just going to cheat on you too?

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Finding the Right One:

This is probably the trickiest part of dating... how do you know if they're the one?

Now, I don't know much about this, because I'm still looking for that special someone... but I think it's just one of those things that you just know. Now, don't just assume you'll know right away... because then you're just assuming, and assuming never works out. If you assume then it might end in heartbreak. But if you guys have been together for a few years I think it would be safe to say that its possible that you've found the one...