Rivals by @E_Newman
This story has a really good plot, and I really like your characters! Especially James when he was talking to Oliver like, "Oh, so she's not good enough then?" I like his sass.
There were a few little tiny formatting and punctuation issues. When you're writing dialogue, it should have punctuation inside the quotes like so:
'Darn! Rivals is such a good fanfic!'
And when you're writing who is speaking, don't make a whole new paragraph. I noticed your dialogue looked like this:
'Darn! Rivals is such a good fanfic!'
Jessica said.
When it really should be all one paragraph like this:
'Darn! Rivals is such a good fanfic!' Jessica said.
And names, proper nouns (Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, etc...), and words at the beginning of sentences need to be Capitalized. (Haha "C" what I did there lol)
(Ok, yes, the pun sucks....)
Anyway, those was really the only things that stuck out to me as far as grammar mistakes go. You've got an excellent story and plot so far, and I can't wait to see where it goes!
YOU ARE READING
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