Heroes of Dreamland Rewritten, Book 1: Stars Amidst Lightning

Chapter 10

Kirby Dee|カービィディー

Taking a few deep breaths, I make sure to stay perfectly in my spot and not betray my secret position. Bandanna Dee nods at me from where he hides in the corner, mischief written all over his young, eager face. He's a cute kid, I'll give him that much, and I'm grateful he helped me out with the Bronto Burt earlier. Whether I'll admit it or not, I'm not sure how well I could have handled myself on my own. Hopefully, my helping out with this little bit of espionage will pay any debt I owe. If all goes well, Dedede'll be able to pay a small amount of his debts to me here, too.

On top of all of that, this is gonna be a fun way to use my new abilities to pick on both the King and Escargoon a bit without getting in any kind of trouble. That thought makes it really hard to control my blank expression, but I pull a Meta Knight and force myself to. This is gonna be so good.

I guess now's as good a time as any to tell you about the King. King Dedede is a big, fat, blue penguin with a yellow bill, gloves, and feet. He's at least twice as tall as Meta Knight and probably at least twice as round, too. He's always dressed in his red velvet, white-fur-trimmed royal robes with a peace sign emblazoned on the back in gold fabric (although I still think it looks more like a bunny rabbit than a piece sign, personally). He also wears a red-and-yellow zigzag-patterned belt-shirt-thing around his middle, and a red velvet, gold-trimmed hat with a white pompom on top, which serves as his diadem, I guess.

Right now, the King is busy stuffing his face from a massive pile of teacakes and sandwiches, which is honestly a fairly gross sight, but trust me, I'm beyond used to it by now. Even so, the guy still really kinda disgusts me. He's not even really a honest King, so far as I know. Nobody seems to remember when he showed up and took over, but most people apparently have always kinda just gone along with it. You'd think there'd have been a riot when he started doing things like taxing folks without permission and stealing all the food in Dreamland on more than one occasion, but really, the only Dreamlander who ever stands up to him is Kirby. More recently, though, they seem to be more frenemies than enemies most of the time, although I haven't the slightest clue why.

Whatever it is, for the most part, the only people who put up with Dedede (since no one else is ever in the castle, which is where he spends the majority of his time anymore) are Meta Knight, Kirby, the Waddle Dees, the Meta-Knights, and Escargoon. Speaking of Escargoon, I might as well introduce you to him, too.

I told you what Dedede's snail advisor looks like earlier, so I'll skip that part. Basically, he's just the jerk who does whatever Dedede does and/or orders in an effort to impress him. He's been around pretty much as long as Dedede has, I think, and he's just about as well-liked as Dedede. Maybe even less so, since he's the only one who goes around being the King's henchman and causing everybody else grief all the time. Right now, he's eyeing Dedede's pile of food hungrily, but his desire to avoid getting smashed under the King's giant mallet for the quintillionth time is stronger than his desire for food, apparently. Lucky for him.

Not far away stands the Secondary Captain of the Guard, Waddle Doo. Technically, Meta Knight is the official Captain of the Guard, but since he only ever does anything for Dedede if explicitly told to, every single time he's wanted to do anything, including "daily" duties, Waddle Doo is the one who typically fills the position. Apparently, for a long time, Dedede tried to send a Waddle Dee to boss Meta Knight around all the time, willing to play at Sir Knight's game of refusing to do anything until told. Around then was when Meta Knight started displaying his uncanny ability to never be around when needed and yet somehow always show up right whenever he might want to be around (according to legend, anyway), and so Waddle Doo ended up with the job.

Waddle Doo is actually one of many Waddle Doos, who all look the same, but he's the only one who lives in the castle. He's the same size and shape as Meta Knight, maybe just a little bit smaller, and he's red all over with orange feet. He's also got three black hairs that stick straight up from the top of his head. The only weird thing about him is that he doesn't have any kind of face, just one huge eye with a black iris and white pupil that covers everywhere his face should be. That's what all Waddle Doos look like, but it's still kinda weird. Anyway, he carries a sword, unlike most Waddle Doos, and also never shoots spherical, electrified laser beams out of his eye, also unlike most Waddle Doos.