Heroes of Dreamland Rewritten, Book 1: Stars Amidst Lightning

Chapter 25

Kirby | カービィ

Here in Dreamland, there's only one TV channel, like you probably already know. Dedede runs the channel, so there really aren't many shows on it, and the ones that it does have aren't very good. The songs that play at the beginning of each show aren't very good either, but they get stuck in my head a lot, 'specially when I'm scared. Kinda like right now.

That's probably why I've been singing one of 'em over and over and over for the past forever and ever and ever.

"Dedede Man, Dedede Man, super-powered super-guy-an; he'll beatcha without try-an, he's the ultra-powered-extra-cool-super-dude-epic-chap-neato-bloke-coolio-bro superhero-an, Dedede Man... Hmm hmm hmm... Poyo poyopo, poyo poyoo..."

It's really getting kinda boring, but I can't remember how any other songs go, and just singing the 'Super Kirby Poyo Song' got old after awhile. If I don't get out of this creepy cave soon, though, I'll probably have to start singing it again soon. 'Dedede Man' is just too dumb.

The light at the end of the tunnel just keeps being super far away, but I'm really getting tired of walking. That, and I'm feeling super hungry too. I haven't eated anything for, like, hours at least. Maybe days. Probably days. Who knows, maybe it's even been a week, or even a century! Ugh, I'm just so hungry...

Whining quietly, I stop walking again and start sniffing around for a snack. "Food, poyo?" I call out, hoping maybe some will magically appear or sumfin. "Food, poyo! Food, poyo! Here, food-y food-y food!" No food comes, which I think is stupid. If I was the king of Dreamland, magic food would come whenever you called it. Hmm. Maybe I should ask Dedede if I can be king someday, if he ever gets bored.

Suddenly, a creepy dripping sound makes me jump a bit and cross my paws, and a scared sound that I didn't want to make flies out of my mouth. "Uwaa!" My face gets hot because I feel stupid, but nobody is here to hear me anyway, so it goes back to normal again really fast. The dripping noise doesn't stop though, making me whine again. "Cave dark, poyo. Cave drippy, poyo. Cave got no snacks, poyo-po. Cave just plain poyoin' 'tupid." After throwing myself down onto my face on the ground with an angry sound, I turn my face sideways and sigh, mad, "Zero-ten; no recommend."

But after a minute, another noise starts happening, and it's a lot scarier than the dumb dripping. This noise is a monster noise, just like the one that I heard earlier before the roaring knocked all the rocks down and took S'kura, Meta Knight, and Bandanna away. Popping back up onto my feet, I look around, trying to pretend like I'm not afraid. "Rawr! Rawr! Rawr!" I shout back at the monster, trying to scare it, but it sounds like it's laughing instead. Puffing myself up so I look bigger, I try to make scary noises back at it, but that just ends up with me accidentally blowing all the air out so fast that I throw myself back against the wall really hard. "Ow, poyo," I mutter to myself as I get up again.

Now the stupid monster's laughing even harder. Getting mad, I suck up a rock nearby and become Stone Kirby, with a fancy gray helmet on my head that Meta Knight told me the special name for, but I, uh, I forget what's it. Sammy-Eye, I think. Whatever that is. But anyway, I turn myself into a circle-topped rock with angry eyes and a rumbly voice just like how the monster's sounds. "Now try 'n hurt Kirby, poyo. Kirby'll crush you, 'tupid monster," I shout out, but the monster just keeps laughing, and then sounds like it's flying away toward the pretty light.

Now I'm really mad. Turning back into Stone Kirby, I run after the monster, yelling, "Just fight Kirby-poy! Kirby gonna make you never hurt 'body again!" The light is finally getting closer, but I don't care. I just keep chasing the stupid monster right into the light. It gets so bright that I can't even see anything anymore, but I keep running. I gotta stop the monster before it can hurt anybody else.