Heroes of Dreamland Rewritten, Book 1: Stars Amidst Lightning

Chapter 21

Sakura Dee|さくら•ディー

Sometimes, I wonder if Meta Knight's uncanny ability to always be right isn't ever painful. Surely it isn't fair on a universal scale for one being to be gifted with such nigh-psychic abilities without having to suffer any consequences. Heck, they might as well call him Sir Meta Knight the Always-Right.

The Always-Right Sir Meta Knight? The Always-Rightly Sir Meta the Knightly?

I dunno. It sounded better in my head.

Anyway, as you've probably already guessed, Meta Knight was telling the honest truth when he said that the little ones would slow us down. However, I believe he understated the matter quite a bit. And since he always ends up being the one that's right and I always end up being the one that's wrong and it's happened to me once again over a matter of such import, you'll have to excuse the mild bitterness which I am experiencing at the moment.

In all fairness, our painfully-slow pace is not in any way Bandanna Dee's fault. I could have easily carried him much farther than I actually did (which was barely outside of the Cappy Town city limits, in all honesty). No, our slow-going is to be blamed on one puff, and one puff alone.

Going by process of elimination, I am sure you can guess who.

Groaning in frustration which is beginning to border on anger, I grab Kirby's paw and drag him back onto the weather-worn, not-often-travelled path which goes through a mostly-cleared section of Whispy Woods towards Cookie Country on the other side. Once again, the little pink guy's noticed some food, real or imagined, somewhere off the trail, either by sight, smell, or his seemingly-miraculous Kirby Food Radar (patent pending), and just has to try and go eat it. Thanks to this process which just keeps being repeated over and over again, we haven't been able to fly for most of the time we've been on this little just-begun 'quest.'

While Kirby makes unnatural whimpering and whining noises of protest, I continue to keep an iron grip on his paw and continue dragging him down the path while Bandanna Dee stares at the two of us disbelievingly and Meta Knight sourly glares out at the universe several feet ahead of the rest of us. Looking up at the quickly-lowering sun, I make a grunting noise and comment, "It's been three hours and we haven't even gone twice that many miles."

Under his breath, Meta Knight remarks, "It's been three hours and we haven't even gone that many miles, if we're being honest." Easily sensing my unimpressed stare at his back, he shrugs it off and tells me flatly, "I'd say 'I told you so,' but it is not considered honorable to mock a lady."

"Spare me the niceties, O Chivalrous One," I mutter, rolling my eyes, tugging on Kirby harder as he starts making a half-gurgling, half-whining noise of longing and he reaching one paw out toward a wild tomato plant growing several feet off the path. At this point, he's quit attempting to walk (whether on purpose or not, I don't even know) so I'm having to quite literally drag him along our 'merry' way. Huffing in impatience, I let out, "For goodness' sake, Kirby, they probably don't even taste good. They're wild."

"Awawawawa," Kirby replies yearningly, still not sounding like anything natural. "So... hungry... starving... gonna die, poyo... Need... food... Foooooooood..."

Narrowing my eyes, I hunker down and continue dragging him along the road, knowing full well he's already eaten four meals worth of 'snacks, poyo' from the roadside smorgasbord in the past hour alone. "I know I shouldn't even ask, but at this rate, how long will it take us to get to Cookie Country?"

Meta Knight lets out a snort of derision. So much for not mocking a lady, I guess. "At this rate? Perhaps a week, if the weather holds, although that might very well not be soon enough to save Dreamland from her newest foe. We're making less than a mile per hour, and the Woods are not safe to travel at night; at least, certainly not when there is a villain of such magnitude about. Of course, we should have been able to get to Cookie Country sometime just after sunset, but then again, it is always so much more entertaining to take the Scenic Buffet Route, isn't it?"