Never Stop Counting

Cheating

-- 14 December 2025 18:34 --

There's nothing like relaxing in a hot tub with your best friend the day before your birthday.

"Hey, Julia, could you grab me another beer, please?" This is Emile. He has been my best friend since the first year of high school. Today we will be celebrating my birthday at his friends' house close to the beach.

So now you can imagine my point of view; the jets soothing the aching muscles I always have in my back and shoulders, an ice cool Ice Tea in my left hand and my eyes following the sunset slowly lowering down and kissing the sea level.

I am so glad I can have this off day before we hit the road again. Our family has decided on a roadtrip for Christmas and New Year's. We stopped here three days ago and tomorrow we are already off to another exciting place we haven't seen before.

"Why don't you ever drink alcohol?" Emile said.

"Well, I prefer the sweet taste of juice, thank you very much."

"I'm going to make you a deal, tonight I will mix a few drinks with your ice tea that I'm sure will still be sweet enough for your taste."

After that, me and Emile talked on about the Greek Mythology, Zeus and how to read body language, since he is studying to be an actor.

-- 14 December 2025 23:52 --

"Alright, here you go. Let's hear your judgment." Emile handed me the sweet drink he promised me earlier.

I took a sip, and surprisingly it's just as good as he said it was going to be.

"No, this is very bad, how can you make me drink something like this?!"

"Aw come on, I know you're joking around, Jul. I've known you too long."

"Really? Would you call our friendship, a friendship that is too long?" I took a step closer to him. I could feel the heat radiating off of his chest from the heat of the hot tub. This cannot be happening.

"Well, I didn't mean that, I just thought that..."

"You know what I thought? Everytime you sat on the couch, I wanted to come sit on your lap..."

"Julia... I..."

"Everytime you took a nap after your gym session I wanted to cuddle with you." Tears started to shoot out from my eyes.

He put his hands on my arm. "I want that too. Let's do it, just for tonight. No one will know. Just you and me."

"But he will know. He..."

"Doesn't have to know."

I am shocked by his words. I felt a pain crashing through my heart. It just broke in two.

"Does he even know? Have you told him how you feel?" My brain knows Emile is telling the truth but my heart wants to deny it.

"No."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Emile took my cheek in his hands and pulled my face closer to his. I could feel the roughness of his hands from all the work he has done for his father.

Our lips made aquaintance. I felt his soft lips. My heart broke into four. He pulled me closer and thrusted his tongue inside of my mouth. He moved around like a snake searching for food. I want to avoid this, but I want this just as much.

I stepped closer and put my hands on the small of his back. I pulled back a little and opened my eyes. What I saw infront of me was not my best friend, but an image of a boy that helped me when I was at my lowest.

A boy, who, inspite of the walls I built around my heart, found a weakness and worked his way through. A boy who I have made the King of my heart.

Tyler.

I can't do this. I can't do this to him. I made a promise to myself.

"What's wrong?" Emile asked.

"I... I can't do this. I'm sorry, I really want things to work out between us, I really do and I am mortified that I can't spend the rest of my life with you, but my heart chose this path and got stuck with another person." Tears welled up in my eyes.

"Listen, I understand what you're saying to me. We are the best of friends and although we can't have a future together doesn't mean we can't spend time together and still be friends." He took my hands in his. I'll never be able to feel his hands again.

"Thank you." I snickered some tears away that rolled down my cheek, once inhabited by his lovely palm.

"I want you to go and tell him that you're absolutely head over heels for him. And I also wish you two the best of the best for your future."

My heart broke into eight pieces and I started crying. I fell down and Emile caught me mid-air. I started sobbing in his chest.

"You'll still have a place in my heart, even if I don't have a place in yours."