Forgetting Grier

1: Grace

When in New York

Quote of the chapter:
Im sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts and jokes as you caring. I'll think twice before I waste my time again.

Song of the chapter:
What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts

Dear H,
When in New York you should expect to learn a few new things. Like, walking places will get you to your destinations two times as quick; or there's a different culture waiting around each new corner. What I learned over the first few weeks here are quiet different than what I just listed. I mean yes, you do learn those things but, bigger things await when you are me. Honestly I just wanted to get through my freshman year as smooth sailing as possible, but I was greeted by a broken heart, again. Why do I even try anymore? Love is so stupid, and weird, and hurtful. When will I learn it's not the thing for me? I just have a way for setting myself up for hurt. But I can't let myself get down again, not because I don't want to, because more than anything I do. It will not happen this time, I wont let it get that far, because Im not just taking care of myself anymore. And if I can help it you will never find out. 
                                                                  - Grace
Perfection is not possible. Plain and simply put. When you're in love that's the closest you can get, or so people think, let's be real here, every time I think something is going great and everything is perfect my world shatters. Not like broken glass but by a freaking atomic bomb, or at least that's what it feels like. Im done with love, done with him. All of it. Love is overrated and not something people like me get, it just doesnt happen. I don't get it but that's the way it has to be I guess. Today was supposed to be perfect, he would have been as happy as I am, correction: was. Why am I always left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart? No one is here this time, hell I doubt they even knows yet. If they did they either
a) don't give a shit
Or
b) are to busy figuring out what the hell happened
But I would have gotten a call by now. Spence would have called by now. Matt would have called by now. Tobias would have called and texted by now. So he's just being a coward as normal, figures. Well soon enough their calls wont even come through, I mean when I get my new phone and number. The screen mocked me, rubbing salt into my wounded heart.

Me: Hey why did you send me to voicemail? I have some news I think you'll be excited to hear!Poohbear💘: Grace im sorry I don't think we can be together anymore...
Me: What do you mean? Is this why you've been so distant?
Poohbear💘: This long distance isn't working out. I found someone else.
Me: Oh.. Was it all a joke?
Poohbear💘: What?
Me: Was it all just a joke when you said you loved me? When you said you cared? When you said you'd never leave me?
Poohbear💘: Im sorry.
Me: Did you even love me?
Poohbear💘: No.
Me: Then I wish you the best asshole. Go to hell. I hope you know you just ripped my heart all the way in half. Just do me a favor with this new girl okay? Don't make promises you don't want to keep. Goodbye Hayes im done with you for good.

I was naive and dumb as usual. The tears came for a while, I don't get what changed, we were great. And then he started to not answer my calls before bed. Take hours before responding to a text. I should have seen the signs before, but I was to blinded by my love for him. After a while my tears became angry, I threw my phone at my door, it's screen shattered into millions of pieces just like my heart. The joke is always on me. I don't need this. I don't need his love. I don't need him. With that in mind I left my dorm. Stares from people in the hall didn't bother me, I don't care what they think. They don't know me or my story. I don't care about their judgement of me or my state of dress. I may look like a zombie but hey, girls you would too so leave me alone. Verizon was an easy ten minute walk, about four blocks away from my dorm and it was a good two hours before the people set everything up including my new phone number. Tobias, Spence, and Matt would expect something soon enough when they called my phone and it be disconnected. I only gave it to mom and dad with there promises of not giving them my number till I did. Mom knew what was going on, I had called her about the amazing news this morning and then the awful news this evening. She knows how I get when things like this happen. All she said was that she would be telling them im okay just not to worry about me. That I would be gone for Christmas break in Europe to get over things. I was somewhat true, the Europe thing was a lie but it still gave me time.They would of course find out in the time it took for that break and once it's over be trying to reach me somehow but for now I had a few weeks. She also said she would be visiting me this weekend to make sure I was really doing okay and take me to my first ultra sound. I had asked her to come. When I started gaining weight I just thought it was my freshman fifteen but then the morning sickness started and visits never came. So I went to the doctor this morning and found out I was almost eight weeks. I don't know how I didn't realize sooner, I blame it on the work I've been doing. Getting back to the dorm I sat down on my bed and stared at my filming equipment. At least one good thing came out of today, I didn't have a roommate so I could film without being judged. After setting everything up I didn't bother to fix up, this was going to be it for a while. They needed to know I was going away for a while. I sniffled and started talking,
"Hey my beautiful wonderlanders. It's Elliot Grace which you already know. I need to have a serious talk with you guys really quick okay? And I know this isn't normal and half of you are about to stop watching the video because of it but this is important. The title of this video is not a joke. I'm going to not be doing youtube or social media for a while. It's not anything to do with you guys there's just some stuff going on in my life right now I need to deal with." I took a shakey breath as a few tear came down my face and I quickly wiped them away. "That being said I love each and everyone of you and I want to thank you for putting up with the craziness that is me. It's been a rough few weeks and I just feel that this is the best thing for me to do so I can go back to being my happier self. Please don't hate me for doing this, I'll be back before you know it. I'll also check in on you guys every once in a while on Twitter. This video is going to be completely unedited, you guys can choose how you feel about my decision, but I really hope you guys can support me on this. I love you all. Goodbye for now." Finishing the video I turned my camera off and uploaded it to my youtube. As it uploaded I made a tweeted about it ignoring the dm's I got afterwards from my friends.
@ElliotGraceGray: I hope you guys can understand. I love you all. *youtube video link*
The dms were the hardest not to respond to, I guess Hayes hadn't gotten home from the studio yet, after all it was only eight o'clock in LA. Due to filming for Freakish he was getting in later at night. They'll find out soon enough.
7 New direct messages
@SpencerFaith: Grace what's going on? What's happened? Why is your phone disconnected?!
@TobiasJones: Ellie talk to me! What happened? Why are you taking a break?
@MattEspinosza: Sissy why did you tell mom not to give me your new number? I saw the video and I know you're trying to push me away but please talk to me! What's going on?!
@BlakeGray: Barbie talk to me what is going on?! Im freaking out!
@NashGrier: Grace please talk to us, Spencer is freaking out. What happened? I swear if Hayes did something to you im going to kill him!
@JennXPenn: Elliot I'm not going to ask you what happened but please tell me you wont do anything stupid. I love you and im always here to talk.
@AndreaRusset: Espinosa turn your phone back on and talk to me!
I turned my notifications off for the app as sobs racked my body. The last post I saw was one that surprised me.

@HayesGrier: Im sorry, it wasn't my choice.

When in New York you should expect to learn a few new things. Among that list are good things such as a baby and bad things such as long distance relationships are overrated. But not as overrated as love. I'm done with Mr. Grier for good. Im going to forget him and that is a promise.
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1617 words
That's the first chapter! This book is going to be written a little differently, the chapters are going to switch from Grace and Hayes' points of views. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. As always, I love all of my readers!
-Taylor💋