OC REVIEW #2 - Hypersthene

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Name: Hypersthene

Sounds more like a fusion name than a singular gemstone.

Alliance: Blue Diamonds Court. 

Occupation: Scout. Searches For Any Possible Dangers And Finds Information. 

Affiliations: Gem Homeworld. 

Species: Gem. 

Gem: Hypersthene.

Identity: Facet-5N3Q Cut-2XS Gem Cut: Oval Cut.

Gem Placement: Middle Of Tongue. 

Unusual, for sure. I looked over this OC before writing the review, and I like that you made her longer tongue a distinguishing feature of hers, not just a random gemstone placed on her normal tongue.

Weapon: Glaive. 

Once again, could be a fusion weapon, but not too bad considering the fact that Pearl also has a spear as a weapon, which isn't very plain either. 

Gender: Female. 

I'm pretty sure gems are genderless. 

Pronoun/s: She/Her/Hers.

Age: 27,000 Years Of Age.

Height: 6'8. 203CM. 

Weight: 203lbs. 92KG. 

A little tall and heavy to be a scout in my opinion.

Eyes: Silver Irises.

Hair: Asymmetrical Bob, Trimmed Down On One Side, Black With Silver Tips. 

Pretty. I like it.

Skill Sets: Lethality, Weapon Proficiency, Durability. 

This is unnecessary to add, all gems have these traits.

Special Abilities: Energy Projection, Photo Kinesis, Levitation, Item Summon ((Regular Gem Powers, All Gems Have Them.)) Echokinesis. ((Special Abilities For Her. Meaning That Her Gem Type Has Them.)) ((All Applications, Techniques, Variations, Associations, And Limitations Apply.)) 

I'm so sorry to be one of those people, but you don't have to capitalize every word in your sentences. Other than that, this is pretty normal. 

Personality: Quiet, Ruthless, Intelligent, Courageous, Loyal, Reserved, Equable, Extremely Competitive, Obedient. 

Intelligence isn't really a personality trait, and with her being courageous and competitive, her being reserved and quiet as well is kind of strange because normally, people who are brave, ruthless,  and competitive will be loud and energetic, not quiet and reserved, some of her other traits. Kind of contradictory, you should either get rid of quiet and reserved or competitive and courageous, change them a bit, or give an explanation that makes sense.

Flaws: Overanalyzes Everything, Competitiveness, Ruthlessness, Even Though She Keeps Her Calm Nature Most Of The Time, She Tends To Lash Out When In Extreme Situations But This Occurs Rarely. 

There aren't really enough flaws to balance out her character, the current flaws are so-so. There is only one flaw that can really be considered bad, which is over-analyzing things, because her lashing out is only occasional and the other 'flaws' can also be good in some situations.

Good Traits: Great At Making Attack Strategies, Strength In Combat, Agility. Uses Special Abilities To Aid In Scouting.

Clothes/Accessories: Dark Blue, Black, And Silver Leotard Uniform With Cubic Shoulder Pads And Black 'Turtle Neck'. Suit Is Mostly Silver And Black With A Blue Diamond Outline Meeting To Form The Blue Diamond Insignia At Her Naval Area Reaching The 'Cut Out' With A Black Portion Between Her Chest And Thighs. Black Stockings Feature Blue Diamond-Shaped Knee Pads. Black Fingerless Gloves That Reach To Her Elbows.

I actually really like this character design. Not too flashy and over-the top, and she has a very simple color palette, which I like. 

Extras: Tongue Is Much Longer Than Usual, Falls Around The Length Of Her Neck. Skin Is Mostly Black But Has Stripes Of Silver Throughout Her Skin, Researches About Earth, Would Do Anything To Protect Her Diamond, Usually The First To Exit The Ship, Directly Encountered The Crystal Gems Long Ago In The Gem War.

This character is very interesting. Personality-wise, she needs some more flaws to balance out her character, and her name is kinda fusion-y because it's so long and it's not a very well-known gemstone, but other than that, I think this character is really cool. I like the colors you chose, but I think that the skin shouldn't be pure black, rather deep grey, because there might be a problem with the pure black fingerless gloves, along with the lineart, if you do happen to draw her. She sounds like an interesting character, and with the right changes, she would be perfect! Great job on making this OC, very creative and well-done.

Mary Sues [OC Reviews CLOSED]Where stories live. Discover now