Hetalia × Reader Oneshots

A... Girl? (Poland x Crossdresser!Reader)

A/N: Do you guys know the manga Otanari Complex? LOVE IT. Inspired this oneshot.

Traps are life!
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(Y/N) (L/N) (but prefers to be called (Masculine Nickname) was the same as all the other guys, from style, to attitude, to swagger. (M/N/N) had a group of friends and was good with women. An average gamer you'd see on Steam (although, a bit of a catfish) and is into esport and basketball. A bit too much of a stereotypical teenage boy.

But you see, (Y/N)'s a girl.
A full fledged girl.

Now that you've read the intro, let's get started with the story, shall we?

"(PROLONGED BROTHER'S NAME)!" Your adopted brother from France, Lamarr, called from the bathroom (ignore this if your brother's name is Lamarr).
"WHAT?!" (B/N) answered, agitated. He was on his man-period, you see. He hates the middle of the months, especially during autumn and winter.
"THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER!"

(B/N) turned to you.
"You heard him, (N/N)! Now go!" You groan and roll your eyes.
"Do I have to? Why can't Xing get it?" You complained, gesturing towards your Chinese adoptive brother, who was brushing his teeth in the kitchen sink. (B/N) scoffed.
"Then what's the point of having a younger sibling if you do the work?"

'Goddamn it, Mom! Why did you give me so many elder brothers!? Why adopt four foreign versions of (B/N)?!' The girl groused.
"HOLD IT IN, LAMARR, I'LL GET YOU YOUR FUCKING ASS-WIPES!"
"IT'S TURTLING!"
"I CAN SMELL THAT!" (Said the Dutch brother who was taking a shower in the same bathroom, Brecht.) "KEEP IT IN YOUR ASSHOLE!"

A normal day, as always. Another morning like the rest.

You all went to the same school (as embarrassing as it was) but took different routes. Could you blame them? No one would wants to smell like Lamarr's morning shits, deal with Xing constantly being sidetracked, Brecht's complaints, Atticus' (Irish) FUCKING POLECAT, and (B/N)'s nagging. Out of all the (L/N) bunch, you were the most tolerable. That's not really saying much, since the others are unbearable as that one really old, obnoxious aunt that boasts about what her kids did twenty years ago and force fed everyone her burnt cooking, and doesn't seem to actually be part of the family. (I have that aunt.)

*ehem* Anyhoo, let's just... yeah.

After parting with her brothers on their separate routes, (Y/N) adjusted her uniform. It was the boys' uniform, since all she could afford were hand-me-downs from her elder brothers. They were all too big, and hung on her smaller frame. She didn't try to fill it out, because if she did, well...

Chesticles. That's all she'd have to say.

A good friend of her's, Toris, waved as she passed. A girl who looked a lot like you was standing next to him.
"Hello, (M/N/N)! Wanna walk to school with us?"
"Nah, I'll pass!" It was a good choice, too. For some reason, people around that Lithuanian started disappearing. Maybe.... (M/N/N)'s doppelganger smiled.

Meh. Can't be.

•~•Second Person P.O.V.•~•

You gripped the strap of your messenger bag, your short (H/C) hair ruffling behind you. You had reached the vicinity of school before your brothers had. Sighing in relief, you took another step, and the bell rang. You froze for a fleeting second, then started sprinting the next.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUU-" You slammed open the door to your class, and leaned against the frame, panting. Everyone was staring at you. Your best friends, Mathias, Alfred and Gilbert, sniggered in the back. Your teacher scowled disapprovingly.
"Would you mind to go back to your seat, (L/N)?" She said your last name with distaste, like she was naming a disease. "Also, detention for tardiness and cussing in the hallways."

(Thanks to your brothers' record, everyone started painting the (L/N) boys [and girl] with the same brush. Also, your teacher would only add honorifics if they earned it. Obviously, you haven't earned the respect yet.)

You grunted and trudged back to your seat. A few girls squealed when you passed their desks, whispering things like "Such a bad boy~!" "So cool!" and the ever famous "God, that ass. *Parang masarap na makagat~" from that one perverted Filipino girl that sat in the second row. (Me.)

It took you a moment to notice that there was a cute girl standing in front of the class. A very cute girl. The teacher cleared her throat.
"As we were saying, this is our foreign exchange student from Poland. Could you introduce yourself?" The girl nodded adorably and flipped her short blondr hair.

"It's, like, totally nice to meet you all! My name is Feliks." She said in a surprisingly deep voice.

One...

Two...

Three...!

"WHAT?!" Everyone basically screamed. Even the teacher was caught off guard. Feliks nonchalantly flipped her- I mean, his hair.

"A-A CROSSDRESSER?!"
"A TRANNY?!"
"IT'S A TRAP!"
"MY JOHNSON IS CONFUSED!"
"Goddamn." You murmured. Unfortunately, this was when everyone became silent. All their heads turned to you.
"SERIOUSLY, (M/N/N)?! ARE YOU GAY?!" Matthias pretty much screamed at you. You shrugged.
"I mean, yeah. It's not like there'd be a difference anyway." She retaliated. "That, and you say that like you aren't gay yourself." She pointed out. He turned red.
"AT LEAST LUKAS IS A REAL MAN!"

The teacher looked at him, confused.
"Why would (L/N) taking an interest to Feliks be gay? Feliks is a boy."
"Um... exactly. That's why it would be gay." Your class' teacher's pet, Mary Sue, said. The teacher shook her head.
"But (L/N) is a girl."

One...
Two...
Three...!

"WHAAAAAAAA-"
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, DUDE!"
"I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE!"
"TRAPS! TRAPS EVERYWHERE!"
"Meh. I'm bisexual anyway."
This had to be a very confusing moment for everyone.

The teacher cleared her throat.
"Anyway, Łukasiewicz, take a seat next to (L/N)."

That day forward, everyone in your class was sure to check one another's pants.

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PART 2 COMING SOON! And I'm canceling the Russia x Reader and the TK AU. Sorry.