I'm Sorry

Chapter 10

Many months later I still await Shawn's arrival back home. I miss him like crazy. It is one thing living in his house but living in it while he isn't there whilst looking after our child is very strange. He should be home tomorrow for a couple of weeks before he leaves again but he did say that he has something for me, who doesn't like getting presents? So I sit in our bedroom rocking Grace's wooden crib attempting to get her asleep. When she finally does an hour later, I decide to have a rest as it is starting to get a bit late, so I lay down and gently close my eyes until I hear a really load crash and yell from the living room. I grab the nearest thing, which happens to be a pillow, and run out there to see what happened. All I hear is a mumble saying "you really shouldn't put stuff here, it is a safety hazard to people like me", I can recognise that voice anywhere. I leap across the room, grab his arm to pull him up and hug him extremely tight, "I love you Shawn, please don't ever leave me". So we stand there hugging until we hear Grace cry after waking up.

We end up talking all night, well in between stops to sort Grace out, he tells me all about his tour and his adventures, I just wish I could have gone with him like I used to. After I went to sort Grace out again, I noticed that it was 2am. We can't both sleep as someone needs to watch her, but both of us have been deprived of sleep recently, who will get to sleep tonight. As much as I want to, Shawn should probably be the one to sleep tonight because he probably has a lot a jet lag to catch up on. He says that I have worked too hard looking after her so it is his turn to be the parent. As you can probably guess, we argued for a good half hour and came to no conclusion. In the end, we sit on the end of the bed, huddled in a blanket, watching Grace as she peacefully sleeps.

Suddenly it is morning, I find myself laying in bed, I must have dozed off on his shoulder. I feel so bad. I get up anyways to see Shawn and Grace are not home. Where have they gone, has Shawn really taken her out without telling me. Typical. What am I supposed to do, I haven't had this spare time before, I decide to tidy up so Shawn doesn't fall over again. 4 hours later, the floor is clear, just in time for when the key slots in the keyhole and the handle rattles. He hands me Grace while he takes his shoes off and explains how he went to the park to have some fun father and daughter time, which is really sweet. She is extremely tired so I take her through to the bedroom and I spend time rocking her to sleep. It is strange that Shawn didn't come in, he used to. "Natalie, can you come here for a second please".