Letters To Me

Smile :(:

As someone once said, "The person who tries to make everyone else happy is usually the saddest one inside."

I have experienced this first hand. Last year I went through depression. My closest friends thought nothing of it. The only one who cared was my ex. He told no one. But he said he cared for me. But I didn't believe him. He lies all the time. Why should I believe him? But that was last year. I've gotten better. He no longer talks to me, it seems I am meaningless to him. I'm all alone.

I used to cut and sometimes I still want to. I want to die. I slowly die inside. I tell others this and they laugh. They don't know how much it hurts to hear them laugh at me. I've lost lots of people. I start to block them out. A wall is building around me. No one tries to knock it down. I'm all alone.

My family is broken. My mother and father are divorced. My brothers in rehab. My sister is with her boyfriend all the time. My aunt has cancer. I have depression, ADD, OCD, you name it I probably have it. I read to block off the reality around me. Music is my true best friend. I'm all alone.

Some times I just want to die. I'm not worth it. Some say, "She's just an attention hog. Ignore her." But what I'm telling you is smile at a stranger today. You may end up saving their life.