Fake Smile

reality check

While we were walking home we were catching up on things while he's been in juvy for getting his ass into fights I was at the hospital stitching up my cuts it was my 9th hospitalization in 7months but I don't want anyone to know because they usually call cutters attention seeking but no one understands how much hatred u have to have of yourself to take a blade to your skin .
    All I said was that I've been doing good

Me"well here we are u can go now "

Carlos "this were u live"
Me" Ya "

Carlos" ok bye"

He hugged me and left

Me "mom I'm home "

Mom"were on earth have u been your late "

Me"its only 5"

Mom"you are supposed to be here by 4:45"

Me " I was at school and it takes time to get here u know "

Mom "don't give me that attitude I'm your mother"

Me " I'm not saying anything to make u feel insulted "

Mom "YOU ALWAYS DO THIS YOU ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO MONIPULATE ME TO INSULT ME YOU ARE FUCKING MY LIFE UP !"

I tried walking away but she graved me by the wrist.

Mom" you think your all that huh you think that im a bad mother you think I can't raise my three daughters on my own "

Me" I don't know ,were is noemi right now"

She slaps me and gives me that look the look saying your a screw over and u won't make it out alive .

Mom "you think it's my fault you think Just because I didn't protect you when u were touched by that bastard huh well it's not my fault I was tied down to the bed forced to watch my babies get hurt"

I stay quiet for a second Then say I'm going to my room my mom burst out crying she always says these things every day it was tough enough my baby sister was taken it was just me my mom and my 11year old sister Diana which was in her room sound asleep poor Diana I say to myself dealing with the same shit every day I walk in my room throw my backpack in the corner and lay down I hate my life I thought to myself I look to my wrist and it started to bleed again Fuck oh well I ignore it and look for my phone 4 messages from Brandon,William, Juan, and jason
Me "why me Jesus...