Book 1 : an impossible year. | Ryden & Brallon

twenty three - impossible year.

brendon's pov

ryan is right.

i have no excuse, i didn't even try i just moved on.

and dallon, i didn't even mention ryan once.

how did i never think of talking about my situation with ryan.

oh my god, he probably thinks i was cheating on ryan with him!

no no no no no.

i pick up dallon's bass run to my locker and get my books.

i run to my math class and look through the window to see dallon skipped.

i run to my car and start driving to dallon's house.

when i get there i knock hoping he'll open it.

his head peaks through the window and he doesn't answer the door.

i knock again, "dallon please open the door! i have your bass im here to return it!"

he finally opens it.

his beautiful blue eyes look sad and lifeless.

his hair is a mess and he's wearing sweats and a t shirt.

"thanks" he takes his bass from my hand and starts closing the door.

"wait dallon! please let me talk"

"i don't know if i can cry anymore today brendon, i really liked you."

"i really like you too dallon! please just let me explain"

"what about your boyfriend? ryan?"

"i wasn't cheating."

"oh?"

"but i should have mentioned the whole ryan situation."

"and what is the ryan situation? you guys took a break and i was just your temporary fix until he got back?! i cant believe i actually like you, you were just using me!"

"ryan and i did agree to break up while he was in england, and we were hoping to get back together when when he came back, but it wasn't promised i wasn't even talking to ryan anymore when we starting hanging out and stuff, if im honest i forgot ryan even existed, dallon i didn't use you, i was looking for a friend because i was lonely and i ended up falling for you, i really like you, none of it was fake."

"how could you forget he existed when you have pictures of him in your room! and if ryan hadn't come back yet and i had said yes to being your boyfriend what would you have done? would you tell ryan or would you break his heart and say 'oh hey sorry i replaced you' when he got back? what were you thinking?honestly, brendon?"

"wait, how did you know that was ryan?! and if you knew what he looked liked why were you with him?!"

"don't try to turn this on me brendon you caused all of this, i saw the pictures of ryan and i asked kenny about you and he said that he was your last ex, and i didn't remember what he looked like from seeing his picture once on your wall! and you didn't answer my question brendon, what would you have done?"

"to be honest i never look at the pictures, like i know they're there but i never think about them or look at them, and as much as i hate to admit it he'd probably find out when he came back because i said i completely forgot about him, i'm sorry dallon"

he sighs.

"who do you want brendon, i know you still love him, it's obvious."

shit.

"honestly i do love ryan but not in that way, ryan was my best friend before he was my boyfriend, i love him as a best friend, i want to be with you dallon, im at your house right now not his."

he sighs again.

"dallon i really like you and i want to be with you, that's why i came up with a cheesy way to ask you out"

"i like you too, brendon, a lot.  but if you're still asking me to be your boyfriend i can't right now, i'm sorry it's too complicated."

"that's okay, i understand, but are we still friends? can we still eat lunch together? can you still help me with math?"

"i guess, i mean i have to see you in math anyway"

"thank you"

"yeah, anyways i'm sorry i'm actually going over to dan's house so"

"o-oh. yeah, sorry i should go."

"yeahh"

"wait dallon,"

"what?"

"do you hate me?"

"don't be stupid brendon, i couldn't hate you even if i wanted to"

"okay, sorry, um i'll see you tomorrow at school"

"bye"

i get in my car and drive home.

i run to my garage and sit at my piano.

i grab some paper and a pen.

i start playing and singing whatever comes to mind.

There's no you and me
This impossible year
Only heartache and heartbreak
And gin made of tears.