command [joffrey baratheon]

[21] painful dependence

I fell down onto the floor and pressed my own hand against the aching cheek. If Joffrey wouldn't accept it, who else would?

It wasn't my fault, at least not just mine.

He angrily looked at me and I could see how he was thinking about something.

"I'm sorry.", I started crying out of desperation and didn't stop staring back at his eyes. Joffrey looked way more mighty than usual, because I had sat on the floor and he stood directly in front of me with all his magnificence and pride.

"Stop crying.", he hissed slowly. "My lady is no weak woman. Stand up, lift your chin."

I did everything I was told to, but tears kept rolling down my face.

Not appropriate to the situation, Joffrey suddenly started to smile at me. He liften up his hand and I shrinked back, afraid to get hit again.

"Don't be afraid.", he said still smiling weirdly and stepped closer to me again. I couldn't run away from him again. He wouldn't stop coming closer again and again. So I closed my eyes sobbing and waiting for another painful punch.

But instead, he put his hands around my cheek and wiped away the tears so gently that I almost forgot how much the same hands just were able to hurt me one minute ago.

"You don't want this to happen again, do you?", he warned me and slowly I stopped sobbing and crying and opened my eyes again.

"I'm sorry, Joffrey.", I said, putting my hands against his chest and lookind at him.

Ignoring what I just said his voice replied seriously: "Don't tell anybody. We will wait until it's born. It's safer for you and him."

Him. He really wanted to have a son instead of a daughter to make sure that his brother would not take over the throne after he died.

I nodded.

"I will tell my queen mother about it, this way we avoid enemies on our own side. She hates secrets. Oh and your family...keep it to yourself first. That's all you have to do, will you be able to do it?"

He took my hands from his chest into his own hands and held them. "I will.", I replied and he shortly kissed me on my lips.

Joffrey looked at me, trying to figure something out, after we had kissed. He put a strand of my curly, brown hair over the red-blue bruise on my cheek.

"You don't want to get in trouble again, my queen, do you?"

And I shook my head, unable to look away but into his wondeful blue eyes. Joffrey was violent, but it wasn't his fault, all he got was education by a bitter woman he called mother.

He had the power over me and I wasn't able to do something about it. Maybe I didn't even wanted to do something about it. I was his, but he wasn't mine.

"Thank the gods that my wife is as smart as beautiful. You'd never do something I told you not to do, would you?", he smirked at me.

"Of course not.", I replied, trying to sound self confident.

This answer seemed to please him, after making sure two times after another that I really did what he commanded.

Two days later something unexpected happened. My enraged sister chased me down the way around the castle and screamed at me in public. Gardeners, servants. Everyone was staring at us.

"MY OWN SISTER. DOES THE HONOR OF HOUSE TYRELL EVEN MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? FIRST YOU BEHAVE LIKE AN UNTUTORED LITTLE GIRL AND NOW YOU ACT LIKE A WHORE?? HOW CAN YOU BE PREGNANT, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US?", Margeary's face was entirely red when she screamed.

"Who told you about it, sweet sister?", I tried to stay calm and keep a cool head.

"THAT IS NOT THE POINT!!"

"Yes, it actually is. Did Joffrey tell you? By the way, did he also tell you that he's the father of it, that speaks for itself, I think."

"Lyra, don't-", Margeary reduced her voice.

"It's not healthy for a pregnant woman to be confronted with negativity and stressful situtations my handmaiden says. Joffrey's son needs to grow strong to rule the kingdoms one day. Excuse me, I want to coninue my walk alone."

And I walked past her after I curtsied.

The pain to cut out my family from my life was terrible already, but if I didn't do what Joffrey told me to, the pain would have been worse than that.