it definitely changed.
but after that you pick up pace, you start working, i was working everyday.
also with some big events which meant even more work. like fashion week is horrible. i mean, its not horrible, really, its amazing. but having to work so much every day.
i had no concept of saying no, to anyone, ever.
i think in life you should always experience things but you should be able to say no. its more about being in control and not being a puppet. that's what the most important thing is. and not doing anything for anyone else apart from yourself.
because after a while i started to get sick. and i got this horrible thing called psoriasis. like kim. she told me about this breast milk thing which actually worked.
i didnt deal with it very well, it was actually happening at the time when i was doing shows and it was like giant welts all over my body and it would bleed, it was horrible. gross.
and you look at yourself like you're an alien. you're like "im so disgusting". it wasnt good for me, especially at that time. i felt more disconnected from myself than i think i ever had. which i was for a long time, quite disconnected.
my agency were like usually you have to take time to fix internal problems, like its food and stress. but you know they shoved me straight into a doctor who would inject cortisone into each spot which died them but not really, you know that kind of thing.
its like all those problems i had i feel like i masked with medicine instead of taking the time to really solve them.
