at that time i really wanted someone to stop me. i wanted someone to go "you need to take a break, you need to look after yourself".
but no one did. because i was the one who had it all. i had what everyone wanted.
i would have listened to them if they had told me to have a break. of course i would, thats what i wanted.
but at the same time i had a fabulous life. theres obviously an upside, yeah theres been alot of upsides.
it was like my external life, i couldn't be luckier and more blessed but the internal battles that were going on were just, yeah. i also felt like I never deserved any of it, i was living someone elses dream.
this point is just about like being able to have a mirror up at yourself and really look inside for what you need.
and what happened was i eventually said no and i eventually took a break, to the advise of kate moss who kind of picked me up off the floor.
so i said no and i went and studied writing.
