Kill Or Be Killed

Chapter Four: Midnight Chats With a Retired Killer and the Presumed Dead

That same night as [The] Battle of the Wall, I couldn't sleep. I kept twisting and turning, thinking about all the lives I had destroyed. Majority of my soldiers came back. But Shane's...Well, his are dead, dead, dead. The explosion was so deadly that there wasn't even bodies left. Everything turned into ashes.

My senses are still too weak for this. I thought, amused. I remembered how after that, Katana had showed up, surprising everyone. She was a loyal friend to my parents and my personal bodyguard and also my friend. But Katana had disappeared after her husband died. She fled, probably thinking if she wasn't with her loved ones anymore, she wouldn't hurt them anymore. You see, she was a wanted killer, but then after my mom helped her find a better life, she stopped killing people for a living. But some people had come after her, wanting revenge for what she did to their family and friends. She was on the outskirts of the city and was alway from the royal family, us, and gotten attacked. Her husband, Kai, was with her. He got hurt and died. Katana was afraid more people will come after her and accidentally kill us too. So she left without telling us so we couldn't track her down.

But I had managed to get to her by interrogating countless people and some of the time I had to bribe them. It took me awhile but I did it. Once we had bickered back and forth, Katana finally gave in and decided to help me. Trust me, it wasn't that hard to convince her to join our side. She was called Katana because she can cut down a room full of people in like two seconds. How she do that, I don't know. But Katana has skills! Her blade has taken a lot of lives.

I had given Katana and Lelouch uniforms. I gave Katana a general role to play but I wasn't sure what to give Lelouch.

I sighed and stood up. I'm going to take a walk and get some fresh air to clear my mind so I can go to sleep. I quickly got dressed into my normal outfit; T-shirt, sweater, jeans, and sneakers. I looked at my crown, sitting on my dresser. I put it on and the weight pressed down on my head. It was enormously heavy and I wasn't just talking about the precious jewels and metals. The pretty crown comes with a role and with the role, it comes with a price. The whole world is on your shoulders, to be Empress, you need to be responsible. But responsibility comes with pain. Pain and pressure.

"Why don't you share the responsibility?" A female voice asked.

"I can't, Katana. I can't let anyone else suffer from this. People think being royalty is all fun and games, but it's not. You suffer from it, it's a burden. I must bear this weight myself." I replied. I didn't want this role, but I must take it. The role is a big burden, trapping me, surrounding me. Locked, prepared to keep me in it even if I tried, I'll never get out of it. But I just wanted to be let free, let out of the cage.

"You're just like your mother." Katana commented. "You're both selfless and very special. While others would break, somehow, you managed to not just hold it in, but you can also conceal your pain." I'm not selfless, I thought.

"I must've not done a very good job of concealing my pain if you can tell." I countered.

"I can't tell." Katana said, giving me a gentle smile. "I just know it because of your mother. I can only infer that you're like her. Your mom also refuses to let anyone take responsibility, not even Liam. Even when it wasn't her fault, she still takes the responsibility, insisting it was her."

"Why?" I asked, curious.

"That's because you and your mother have a motherly instinct. Not just for your own blood, but for the world. You both want to take the world under your wing, protect it from harm. But sacrificing your heart in the process. You two unconsciously know that humans these days are easy to break. But you both knew you you're different, stronger...tougher." She said quietly. "You and your mom both can be kind and warm, but when necessary..." She laughed. "Well, you guys can be so damn cold and mean, harsh and cruel." Her laughter died.