home. | clexa {a short story} ✔️

7. ther7py

/trigger warning/

"clarke, it's okay. you have to do this."

"hurry up slut, kill him or we'll whip you again!"

clarke swallowed hard. she didn't want to do this. why was this happening? why her, why him? why did they have to be in this situation? she just wanted a normal life already.

the evil men whipped her back and laughed. she almost fell and groaned in pain. she was covered in blood, and the cut on her back throbbed, she wished it was over.

"im sorry finn."

clarke jabbed the knife into the man that she loved. everything became blurry, and her hearing muffled. it felt like time was slowing down when she saw him fall. he collapsed, intestines spilling.

he was dead.

"good job blond." they laughed, "now, take him out for garbage!"

clarke did what she was told, but she had a plan. when they stood behind her watching her put the body in the trash, she took off. her heart racing, they shouted for her to come back. she ran into the woods far enough and they lost her.

she was free, but it wasn't something to be happy about. she just killed the boy she loved...

he was behind her.

"don't fall in love again, im not leaving!"

clarke woke up with a start. covered in sweat, she put a hand on her heart. the dream kept coming back, it would never leave. she stood up and looked in the mirror and lifted her shirt. she winced when she was the scars the whip left on her.

the scars on her heart were worse though.

overwhelmed, she went to the bathroom and opened one of her drawers. she opened a box full of what she called "distractions." she made a deep cut in her left wrist, and it distracted her from the memories. she cut again. and again. she thought it helped her.

after putting the blades away, she took a shower and put on a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. after brushing her hair and teeth she went into the kitchen where she left her keys.

she quickly wrote a note to lexa, and left.

//

when lexa woke up, she thought she would be surrounded by boxes, living as a homeless girl with a job. but she didn't. she was snuggled up in one of the beds in clarke's house.

she was so thankful for clarke.

she stood up and smiled. she promised herself she would take clarke out for dinner. it seemed lame that she would ask her while she lived in her house, but it was worth a shot. she went into the kitchen to see if clarke was there.

she wasn't.

she found a note though.

lexa,
i went to therapy, it starts at 9:00 and ends at 11:00 (am ofc lol) just so you know. i'll be back with lunch at 11:00 x
love,
clarke :-)

the note worried lexa for some reason. why did clarke need therapy, was she okay? it broke her heart to think she needed it. she wanted to know more about clarke. was she a broken girl, or was she happy? she seemed happy with her and when she texted, but was she really?

she told herself to try and talk to her about it. no, that could end bad. she could be offended and get mad at her. she didn't want to risk the only friend she had in real life to hate her.

she waited for clarke. breakfast didn't seem to be a bother, she was too busy worrying.

//

when clarke came back, she found lexa sitting on the couch looking at her phone. she was dressed in a pastel blue skirt and a black muscle tee. she noticed her tattoos; one big one down her back and on her arms. she also noticed lexa's bare arms were muscular- she was in shape. clarke stared for a while, admiring her.

lexa looked up and smiled, "hey clarke, top of the morning to ya"

clarke giggled, "tip of the penis to you too."

lexa gaped at her, then threw her head back and laughed, clapping her hands together.

clarke remembered hearing a song that reminded her of this moment.

and you throw your head back laughing like a
little kid,
i think it's strange that you think im funny cuz,
he never did.

it made her smile a lot. she though all of it was cliche, but no one appreciated clarke like lexa did.

the fact that lexa cared and appreciated so much when she texted her what was wrong the first time. the fact that lexa thanked her all the time even when she helped her a long time ago. the fact that she listens, and cares what she has to say? the fact she called her beautiful, and it made her heart flutter?

i think im in love, she though and sighed.

"clarke? are you okay?"

lexa's soothing voice snapped her back into reality.

"yeah sorry, i just zoned out."

"oh. i wanted to ask you something, if you don't mind."

clarke's mind was flooding with questions. was she asking me out? did she want to go on a date? did she find out about the cutting? does she want to move out? does she hate her?

god, why did she care so much about lexa?

"yes, i don't mind, ask your question," she sat down next to her.

lexa swallowed, she seemed nervous.

"you don't have to answer this but, um, why do you go to therapy?"

clarke's throat swelled up. should she tell lexa about what happened? how she's been really feeling?

"well, a month ago or so, my boyfriend and i were kidnapped, and they tortured us. a lot."

she paused.

"they made me kill him. i- the memories are always there, it won't go away. i just - i just wish it never happened, and it wasn't my fault, and everything was okay."

clarke could feel the dampness in her eyes and she couldn't help but break down. she was broken.

"oh my god clarke. im so sorry. listen to me. it wasn't your fault those assholes came and messed everything up. just like it's not my fault how those bullies came and made me sad. it's never, ever, the victims fault. you're not a killer, you're a victim. and you deserve support."

clarke stared at her. lexa gave her a perspective on the issue she had never seen before. she needed to hear that, it was so relieving.

before she could stop herself, clarke hugged lexa tightly. lexa saw it coming, and immediately hugged her back. she stroked clarke's hair gently.

"it's okay. you're safe."

A/N: im sorry this chapters kinda deep and i actually kinda hurt typing this up but i hope it was good. and btw the end triggered me omg,,,,