To The Ends Of The Earth (CURRENTLY UNDER RE-CONSTRUCTION)

Scars Don't Make A Person

Daniel

Eighteen..........

"You did what!!?" Melanie hissed to me as we walked to school together after dropping Miles off, and Melanie noticed that he was behaving strange and was refusing to talk.

"Yesterday, he came home early from football and I didn't lock the bathroom door very well after coming home and seeing all the bruises Sawyer and the other guys left after beating the shit out of me. And Miles saw-"
"You slitting you're fucking wrist!!?" Melanie said punching my arm harshly and I yelped in pain.

"What was that for!? You know I can't help it, so what you're going to hurt me too Mel? Look, how do you think I felt when I saw his little face red and puffy from crying?! From seeing me covered in blue and purple bruises all over my chest and stomach, me bleeding out all over the floor?!" I yelled at Melanie in anger.

I wasn't angry at her, I was angry at myself for letting Miles see me in pain and just stood in the door way staring at me.
Melanie and I stood there on the pavement, in icy silence as the wind blew only the sound of trees swaying were heard. She looked guilty and upset and she tried opening her mouth but a tumble of words escaped.

"Danny I-" 

"He........he told me that he wished I was dead. And that he hated me." I chocked out as the lump in my throat increased as I tried swallowing and Melanie tilted my chin so I was staring into her blue teary eyes.

"He doesn't mean that, he loves you. You're his big brother, he was just scared and shocked. I'm sorry I punched you Danny, I didn't mean to. I should have let you explain, I'm just scared of losing you." Melanie said and started crying, I sighed and hugged her gently.

"I'm not going anywhere. It's just something I have to do. I hate it, but I need to take away the pain Mel. I know it's stupid, but it's the only way." I told her and she nodded, rubbing her eyes.

"It's not the only way, you can get help. Tell you're parents Daniel, it's breaking you!" Melanie said, determined and trying to encourage me.

"I-I can't Melly, I just can't." I admitted, and she sniffed.

"Just promise me one thing; that you will always turn to someone for help if you're thinking of..........leaving." Melanie said putting emphasis on the 'leaving'. I sighed, pulling her into a tight hug and she whimpered into my shoulder.

"Melanie I can't-" 

"Promise me! I love you like a brother Daniel, you know that. Don't leave me alone, don't leave your parents and Adrian. Get help, at least talk to someone. Don't do it for me, do it for your brother. He's watching you slowly kill yourself." Melanie sniffled and I sighed heavily while shuffling my feet on the floor. 

"I promise. I'm sorry Mel, I would never leave you or Miles and my parents. I-I............if it's okay, can we please not talk about this anymore." I whispered and Melanie kissed my cheek and nodded.

"It's okay, I know. Come on, let's go to the place I call hell." She giggled nudging my shoulder playfully as she skipped ahead and I chuckled over her change of mood. 

I loved Melanie like a sister. But I never liked lying to her. 

I couldn't get help, I just couldn't! They wouldn't understand or try to put me on anti-depressions tablets. I didn't want to go through that. 

I know harming myself is the worst thing anybody can do to themselves and I hated doing it, but it was the only way I could escape. 

Escape from reality and from my thoughts twirling around my head like a tornado, the same feeling I get when traveling back in time.