I am not okay. I don't feel too good ever. Do you know why I never feel good? I am so stressed that it isn't funny anymore. The stress is messing with my physical health. I am pain all the time, and it doesn't matter what I do to help it, but the pain is always there. My chest hurts now from all the things I put up with. Can I just give? I want to get rid of everything that causes this pain, because you and your friends are one, my family, and school. My other friends don't cause anything, so don't tell me about how they do cause me this pain. I am not as close to them as I am with you and one other person. Though, this year with the both have you has sucked. I would rather be invisible to you then have to go through this pain. Remember one of the reasons you wanted to break up with your boyfriend was your friends didn't like them and he was rude to them, so why don't you do that to me. Your friends hate me, so that leads me to wait until you get rid of me. I have to keep waiting and waiting. Though, I don't feel like I am going to have to keep waiting that much longer.
I want to stop being friends with you sometimes, because we are both changing. I don't know if you like or care about the way I changing, but I know that I don't like the way you're changing. Your changing to be more like yourself, but all I can see now in you in just personality is your friends. Your friends is all that I am starting to see, which leads me to again thinking that you don't want me around anymore. I don't want to be hurt, but that keeps happening. I realize no one wants to get hurt, and guess what some people are able to find people that won't hurt them. I am sick and tired of being hurt and in pain, so why do I have keep having both of those in my life. I am in pain, and I don't think anybody can help at this point. The reason is, is I don't know who to trust anymore. Your happy, smart, bright, and some other things. Me on the other hand, I am nothing. I worth nothing and I have nothing to give anyone anymore.
This one is going to be shorter, because this is going to be all truthful. I have tried to be there for you, but I honestly don't know how much more I can take from you or anybody. I just want to be left alone for the most part if this is how I have to keep being treated just to be your friend. I am tired and in pain. I don't know what to do anymore, and the worst part is I found I way to just stop all of it. When I don't talk to you, it seems to get better. Everything gets better when I am away from you and my other friend. The only problem is, is I have no one to turn to after I stop talking you and her. I only trust you and her, but both of you have other friends who have better problems for you to deal with. Being alone sucks, but I don't get hurt.
I try and I try. Can't I just have friends that won't treat me badly. Oh wait, I do. However, I don't tell them anything that important that often if I do. I start my day happy, halfway through I just want to be alone, and then at the end of the day I am happy again. I see three friends that make me feel better without them knowing it. That is probably the best thing I could ask for. None of them are the one you are probably thinking of, because I don't have classes with her at all. The person I see in the morning is also not her, but I don't have class with her. I try to visit this person everyday. I would be happy to see you, but your friends all hate me. If they don't all hate me, then most of them do.
I give up on trying. I am not going to stop being friends with you unless you want me gone. Though, as I have said already, I believe that will be happening very soon. I am sorry that you have someone like me in your life when you, yourself have plenty of problems already to deal with. I have tried to be cheery for you, but that is just too hard to do. I am sorry that I am giving this to you for your birthday, but this is all I can write that isn't molasses when trying to read. I try to tell you how I feel, but to you it is all complaining. That is why I don't tell you "anything".
