Discovering Parker. ✔ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ

Chapter Five| Head First

CHAPTER FIVE| HEAD FIRST

I was never one to rebel. I’ve always been the silent, straight A, do what I have to girl, always too scared to take risks or act out. It’s not like I never wanted to, because I did, but something has always stopped me.

 Nolan, on the other hand, had made it his mission from a young age (three years old) to make peoples lives just a little more exciting . I don’t know how he managed it, to be the rebellious golden boy everybody loved to be around. For years, I was convinced that Nolan was afraid of nothing and I think along the way he started to believe this for himself, but we both found out how false that was when dad got sick.

 There’s a moment when you have to choose to be the person you want to be or the person others want you to be, I choose the latter. Nolan chose- I’m not sure what Nolan chose to be honest. This isn’t the Nolan others wanted and I’d bet my soul on the fact that this isn’t the Nolan he wants.

 But if we’re being honest, who I am isn’t who I thought I’d be. I never thought I’d still be here, wishing I was somewhere else. Never thought I’d feel so alone. But mostly, I never thought I’d go by what others thought.

 Sometimes I wish I could be like Nolan was. Able to make even the most uptight person, our second grade teacher Mrs. Huff, laugh until she cried which earned him a giant golden star sticker that I had been working so hard for. I cried all the way home. In second grade the most important thing was getting praise in the form of stickers or at least it was for me. Nolan knew how important it was to me and after gloating about it the whole ride home, I woke up the next morning to find a shiny golden star sticking to my school folder.

 That’s the only thing that comes to mind when I think about ‘old Nolan’. The little boy who gave me his golden star. Thinking back, I never needed that stupid star because I already had one. Nolan was my golden star and I wanted to be just like him, bright and bold. But I got the short end of the stick, in my opinion, but that never mattered because I had someone who made up for my lacklusterness. And boy did he shine.

***

It’s five minutes to noon and the boardwalk is as crowded ever. I briefly wonder aloud when the tourist will go back to their homes when a middle aged woman turns to me as she responds with “When they realize the only thing Hines Trail has to offer is an unlimited supply of sea shell nick nacks.” I smile at her as she struts away, pushing past a couple holding a map up to the sky, like that’ll make it easier to find their way around.

 I’m rushing to get to the cove at this point, a part of me thinking that he’ll leave if I’m not there on time. I break through the crowd only to almost fall face first into the sand. I compose myself and my racing heart as I walk down trail towards the cove. My heart doesn’t race anymore, instead it’s decided to flutter around my chest like a hummingbird.

 I’ve just reached the bottom of the trail when I see him. Parker sits in one of the lawn chairs staring out at the ocean, a cigarette hanging from his mouth, his hair a strangely attractive mess. The bags under his eyes are darker today, which tells me he hasn’t slept and the fact that he’s still wearing the same navy windbreaker, tight dark blue jeans with a blood stain on the leg and dark brown boots as last night makes me think that maybe he didn’t go home last night.

 “Sable?” Motley darts up from his lawn chair, almost tripping over his feet and the sand. He brushes himself off as Parker pretends to not find what just happened hilarious. “Sable? What are you doing here? Uh, I mean, how did you find this place? I-I mean… you’re Sable, right?”