Stydia: If this is what broken feels like

You're the one

I make my way back to class, red tear stains marking my cheeks. I still feel the pain bubbling in my chest, her face flashes through my mind every time I close my eyes, I feel like I'm going insane, what have I done?
I shakily open the classroom door and see everyone is taking their seats, I scan the room until I see mine. The one next to it is empty, Lydia's seat. I take a deep breath, and make my way to my seat. My pen is frantically drumming the desk while Sir calls the register. He hesitates when he reaches Lydia's name, he sharply looks us curiously.
"Miss Martin not present? She was marked for the first session, anyone have any idea where she is?" He asks looking at people's blank expressions, except mine. Of course mine had sheer panic written all over it. My heart beat started to quicken as i felt everyone's eyes turn to meet me.
"Stiles, do you know where she is?" He asks me looking down his glasses. I start to shake my head, beads of sweat forming on my forehead, it started to get hot really hot.
"Stiles you alright?" I heard Scott's voice ask me.
"I can't do this I need to find her and explain, cover for me?" I plead to him my voice breaking.
"Sure" he replies with a nod.
I quickly walk out of the class ignoring everyone's beaming stares, I got to get to her, I need to do this.
I drive to Lydia's house to see if she was in. I arrive and notice Mrs Martins car in the drive, I sigh in relief that she may have some idea where she is.
I quickly walk towards their front door, the house has a kind of empty feeling to it, to me it's always felt like that. Her family doesn't seem to be as close as mine. Lydia has murmured to me once before "I think they think im someone I'm not, someone braver, sharper, smarter but I'm not" that's when I knew she truly doesn't know who she is and what she's capable of.
I lift my hand and reach the door bell, it chimes and chimes until I see a figure similar to Lydia's approach the window, but I knew it wasn't Lydia.
"Hi Mrs Martin" I say with a slight smile.
"Hello Stiles" she says to me
A few moments of silence
"Is Lydia home?" I whisper
"She said she wasn't feeling well so she wanted to get some fresh air, she went for a walk" she nodded remembering.
"May I ask where" I said uneasily scratching the back of my neck.
"The woods" she said confidently
Thoughts spun around my head about all the bad things that happened there.
"Oh and Stiles, she may act like she doesn't care, but deep down it's killing her..." she said with a sad look in her eye.
My eyes teared up as I agreed slowly backing away from the door, I shake my head and get into my jeep.

I continue driving when my phones beeps, I quickly pull over pulling it out of my jeans pocket to check.
One missed call: Lydia
One voice mail: Lydia
My mind starts to panic, I click the voice mail ignoring the call.
"Stiles" she says her voice shaking, tears building limiting her speech.
"You've really let me down" she whispered broken into the other end. I felt the tears spill onto my cheeks, a sob escaped my lip. Tears kept on falling.
"I always thought that you were on my side and I was on yours" she said sobbing.
Memories and memories of our investigating partnership flashed through my head.
Not without Lydia
And we are still alive see team work
Don't start doubting yourself now
Stiles your the one who always figures it out
I could feel my heart aching, the pain was to much, to much to handle.
"I thought that deep down... you... umm uh still cared for me, I guess I was wrong" and then it beeped.
Lydia is the only person I'll ever love. She was my first real love, she will always be my only love. The girl I cherish, the one whose smile can light up my world in an instant. Whose hair flows in the wind like an angel. How smart she is, how important she is to me she will never understand. But I haven't shown it recently, ive been to caught up with Malia. I don't mean to ignore Lydia, I thought that any chance of her ever sharing my feelings was gone. I tried to move on, to love someone else, but who was I kidding? It never worked. Every time I kiss Malia, mine and Lydia's first kiss consumes my mind. Making my knees go weak.  The way she had this control over my body, the only person who has ever been able to bring my mind and body out of a state of panic with no tricks, no finger counting. Just pure Lydia. Her and nothing else. Nothing will ever compare to that.
I still love her I never stopped I could never stop, she's my everything.
I get to the woods throw open my car door and run and fast as i can.
"LYDIA!" I scream searching the woods for any sign of her
"I'm sorry" I shout, hot tears pricking my eyes.
And then I hear it, her scream. A banshees scream.
"LYDIA!" I yell frantically. I suddenly stop, and turn my head noticing a fragile girl sitting on the floor, head in hands whispering to herself in terror.
I make my way over, moving slowly not to disturb her.
When I get close enough I say softly
"Lydia?"
Her head shoots up and he eyes lay on me, her lip curls and her eyes fill up.
"Stiles" she sobbed. She was breathing really fast.
"They are everywhere" she shakes
"Who Lydia? Who are everywhere?"
She looks at me with fear written on her face,
"The voices" she says head falling back again.
"I can't do it Stiles! Stop them talking stop them screaming please!" She pleads
She turns her head and I see blood running out of the side of her ear. My heart sinks.
I sit down beside her cupping her face with my hands
"Hey shhh shh Lydia look at me look at me!" I tell her, her head shaking in panic.
"It's ok you're ok just block it out alright listen to my voice" I say Touching out foreheads together, trying to get her to listen.
Her shaking calms down, her breathing evens out. She opened her eyes into mine, I see the gratitude written all over her face, I smile a little.
"You're ok" I whisper holding her in my embrace. Her lips next to my ear.
"Stiles you're the one who always figures it out" she tells me and her head drops into the crook of my next, her body relaxes into mine.
She's safe.