A Part Of Him, A Part Of Me

Chapter 12

The next day, I wake up to morning sickness, like normal. I know that everyone is probably so tired of hearing of morning sickness, but it's part of pregnancy, deal with it.

Jake follows me to the bathroom and comforts me while I am emptying my contents from my stomach. I continue to throw up until all of it is gone and then I stand up to rinse my mouth out. Once my mouth is rinsed out, I turn around to let Jake hold me, like our daily routine is.

After we finish with that, I start to get a shower. I made Jake wake up Justin so that I can get ready for school. He slept on the couch last night, in case you were wondering. Apparently, Jake made him one of the groomsmen last night so he was really excited about that.

After my shower, I walk into the closet and pick out my outfit. It consists of a short sleeved, navy blue and white striped t-shirt that shows the bump that I have and a pair of maternity capris. I also grab a pair of sandals.

I walk back into the bathroom and grab a pair of undergarments and quickly get dressed. Next I put on my makeup and then brush my hair, not caring about putting it up today.

Once I finish in the bathroom, I clean up the clothes and towels before walking out of the bedroom and turning off the light.

In the bedroom, I make the bed and then grab my things before walking out to the living room. Justin isn't in there anymore and Jake isn't either, which leads me to believe they are getting ready for school.

I get a bowl of lucky charms and a glass of apple juice, sitting down at the table. Not taking too long to eat, I finish my cereal and do the dishes.

By the time that I finish, Jake and Justin are both out in the kitchen, getting their bowls of cereal as well. I kiss Jake good morning and hug my brother before walking into the living room.

I fold the blanket that Justin used and clean the living room up just a little bit before grabbing my things and leaving to go to school.

On the way to school, I stop at the cemetery in the town. About 5 years ago, I lost my aunt and unborn cousin in a tragic car accident. The lady was driving way to fast and slammed into the back of the car my aunt was in and she and my cousin were killed instantly.

We were very close so it was a very hard time for me, still is. I haven't fully gotten over her death yet but being pregnant makes it feel like I'm connected to her in a way. I haven't been to the grave since I found out I was pregnant, but I feel like I needed to this morning.

I park the car and walk to the grave, sitting down on the bench. Some people think it's weird to talk to the grave, but I act like I'm talking to her person, not grave.

"Hi Connely." I start. "I know I haven't been here in a while, but I've had a lot of changes in my life. Obviously, you already know that I'm pregnant since you are watching over me, but I am. I'm getting married this weekend and it's crazy to think that I'm about to become a mother and a wife. I'm happy, it's just very stressful.

"I wish you were here. Mom isn't doing so well with the news, neither is dad. They're fighting again and it's stressful because I never wanted to disappoint them, yet I did. It's just hard to go through this and even though I have Jake and Trinity and Natalie, sometimes I wish I could just talk to you.

"You know that Kaylee and I have never been close, which is why I always talked to you. We always had so much in common with each other and not being able to talk to you about this is driving me crazy.

"I feel like lately, I have been struggling with the fact that you're gone. It's still difficult to grasp the fact that you aren't coming back. It's been almost 5 years and I still can't get over it or even accept it. Just knowing that you aren't just on vacation, but that you are truly gone and I will never get to see you again, hurts so bad. I haven't been telling anyone about this because they are dealing with the pregnancy too and they don't need more problems.

"I have to go to school so I can't talk much longer, but I just needed a little bit of comfort that you're still here with me. I just needed someone to talk to that didn't fully judge. I love you so much Connely and I miss you with all of my heart. I can't wait to see you in heaven and I will try to visit you more. Fly high girl, love you." I finish and kiss my hand and then put it to the headstone before walking back to my car and heading to school.

I don't cry. I want to so bad, but I just can't. The tears are being held captive behind my eyes and they can't escape.

Once at school, I sit in my car for a minute to try and calm down before getting out of the car and heading inside of the building.

I go to the band hall and do my normal morning routine and school starts like any normal day.

&&&&

"Are you okay?" Jake asks me after school.

"I swear if you or someone else ask me that one more time I'm going to lose it!" I say, annoyed.

It's not that I'm annoyed that they care, it's just every single person who has seen or talked to me asked if I was okay. I'm fine, I don't know why they all wonder that.

"Okay okay." He says.

"I'm sorry. No I'm not okay."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I went to see Connely today."

That's all I have to say for him to understand. He pulls me in for a hug and I let myself melt into his welcoming arms.

Justin went home today and Jake and I are at home, waiting for the time that they are going to go tux shopping.

He comfortingly rubs my back and just holds me. The tears that I've been holding in all day finally come and I cry on his shoulder, more like chest since I'm so short compared to him.

"I love you Kaitlynn. You're going to be okay and even if you aren't right now, I'm here for you." He says and it makes me smile.

"I love you too Jake."

I finally pull away from his arms and his fingers wipe my tears away. I kiss him and he kisses back. We kiss slowly in the middle of our living room, a moment I wish we could capture forever.

When we pull away he smiles and says, "even when you are crying, you're still the beautiful shining star that I love."

I blush and smile. "I love you too."

Soon enough though, he has to leave to go tux shopping and I turn the tv on, obviously to One Tree Hill.

I cover up with a blanket and curl up on the couch. My hands go down to my stomach and so do my thoughts.

I absolutely cannot wait for this baby. I don't know what it will be yet, but I already know that I love it.

It's driving me crazy not to know the gender because Jake and I want to do the nursery soon after we find out so that it will be ready in case the baby comes early or late, we will be ready.

I have so many ideas for it, both boy and girl, and I honestly can't wait to make a nursery with Jake for our child. It just seems surreal.

I watch the show for a while before falling asleep on the couch.

&&&&

Hey guys!

These next few chapters may be kind of short since there isn't much to say about the wedding until the actual wedding day.

QOTD: "Writer's always leave pieces of their selves in their stories" (My Wattpad Love -Evan Woods).

Comment and Vote!

~Kelsi