The Night Before Halloween

My Past

That night I can't sleep. First the weird gravestone with my name on it then there's Dad and his problems. My head is spinning. I look at my alarm clock 4:36 AM. I pick up my phone to call aOliver but then think better of it. He wouldn't understand. I decide to call Beth but then don't because she wouldn't understand either. 

I get out of bed and grab my laptop. I open up Google and type in my name. "Allana Cooney". My hands are shaking and my palms are sweating as I wait for the results to load. What will show up? My great great great grandma could've been a psychopath murderer with a chainsaw. 

Finally the results load. The first few things are things like "Allana Cooney" Facebook and "Allana Cooney" Twitter. But what catches my eye is about five links down. "Irish Immigrant List 1808-1810".  I click on the link and am brought to a long list of names sorted alphabetically. I scroll down to "C" and sure enough I see my name. Allana Cooney. 

I sit there staring at it for a while. I accidently click on the name. Google brings me to a painting of a woman in rags who looks very sad. There's a description below it. 

"Allana Cooney was born in Ireland in the year 1788 as Allana O'Brien. She married Cobhan Cooney at the end of  the year 1807. She was known among her home village for having hallucinations in her dreams. No one is very sure why but one night Allana walked out of her home and was never seen again. Cobhan committed suicide the next day. Many think Allana had a very bad hallucination about a baby that she had to protect. According to historians Allana ran out of the village and heard people talking about traveling to a country called America. Allana then decided to board a ship to America. Sadly she died in 1808 before this soon after giving birth to a son she named Cobhan after her husband. Cobhan lived in Ireland for most of his life. In 1823 Cobhan immigrated to America. Once he arrived he met a woman who he got married to 1830. In 1831 they had a child they named Allana after Cobhan's mother. The couple both died from disease in 1834. Their daughter became a teacher in the year 1852. At her school she met a man named John whom she married in 1859. After years of trying the couple finally had a daughter. Allana died in childbirth in 1863. John named the child Allana Cooney after his late wife. The Cooney family went on in this cycle, either naming their child Allana or Cabhan although many members forget the originals. The last known Cooney was named Allana and she died in New York City. It is unknown if she ever had children. She was buried in 1969 in Netherspring Graveyard."

My heart drops to my stomach with a loud thud. The date on the tombstone. The name of the cemetery. It all made sense. The "last Cooney" as they put was my grandmother, my father's mother. My dad didn't want anyone to know so much about his life so he made up the story that Allana never had children. That stone belonged to my grandma. The only question still brooding in my mind is, why? Why hadn't Dad wanted to celebrate this long line of beautiful family history. 

I can't think of an explanation, even as I sit thinking until the sun rises. My alarm beeps. I ignore it. I'm already ready for school. I make a plan. I'm going to find my father, wherever he may be, and find out for myself why he ended the line