What Comes To Mind

You Won't Fucking Leave

It's 1:30 in the fucking morning and here you are standing in front of my open consciousness like a man on stage.

I see you as if you're right here in front of me and not two hours away in another state. My soul is begging to leave it's body behind to find yours..

I miss you so fucking much.

And you don't notice it in our conversations, do you? You've always been so dense.

I force myself not to cry when I hear your voice on the other end of the phone. It's insane that I'm losing all of my logical sense in order to imagine your lips on mine. Something I've longed for since day one.

You make me whole. You fill my insecurities with sweet honesty and mend the chaos that is my mind. You've made it this way.

Yet, I still love you. God, do I still love you...and I don't think this feeling will ever stop. I've begged and pleaded. I thought it was gone. Then your laugh invaded my mind that first night you called me in two years. It sank into the very essence of my being as it had so long ago and nestled it's way back.

You were my everything. I hope you never see this, because if you did-if you really knew how much you meant to me-you'd run faster than I could ever bring myself to.

So, I'll remain in the quiet bittersweet feeling that is being your friend. Because to love you openly again, would end me.