A Dreamers Sleep

An Apology and Clarification

An apology. Apologies. Apologizing. A past and present seeking of forgiveness. Do you know when you lick an ice cube, and your tongue gets stuck? You begin to panic. A split second of sheer terror. You learn from this. Or when your sitting on a swing set, or a roller coaster, or in a car, and the object you're sitting in - it swiftly begins to descend and you can feel it... A piece of you, something deep inside your chest, it rises to your throat and then it dies. After you feel it die, you begin to feel it leave you. It is not apart of you anymore. It is left somewhere in the air, in the world, in the past. It's behind you. You have changed in the mere five seconds that it took for all of this to occur. You... Me... We... We spend an everlasting five seconds experiencing. Always experiencing. We're constantly changing. We're constantly growing, learning, making mistakes. Everything we experience adds to or takes away from 'who we are'. 

I hadn't even begun my 'story' before I had stopped it. I experienced. I changed. There was no inspiration to write anything, but everything to write about. The past year was a hurricane. The winds of change, the fields of breathtaking beauty, and the torrents of rain and disaster kept sweeping me away. Life picked me up and drowned out all of who I thought I was. Do you ever just  look back and regret everything you did? For example: You shouldn't have spoken to your parents like that, you should've trusted them. That guy you used to talk to, well... you really shouldn't have talked to him. Your best friend that you pushed them away for no reason at all. Or, that one thing you were so passionate about that  just slowly started slipping away? You shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't have done that. Lessons were learned. You're not the same as you were. Parts of who you are no longer exist.

Life is a complicated problem. As intricate and messy as spiderweb. Even with all of the complications, life is the most beautiful thing you could ever experience and it's worth living.  

I apologize. I apologize for being away so long. I'm going to take second try at this.