Can You Feel My Heart? //ERERI/RIREN - ERURI

Day 4. -Part 1

12:01 AM. He stared to the road in front of him, which had stayed empty the whole time. He tensed up his fists around the steering wheel. His thoughts were going crazy. But then, his phone rang again. Levi's eyes shifted towards the lit up screen. It showed an unknown number. He decided not to pick up and just ignore it, but when the same number called for a 5th time, he violently grabbed it and pressed the green button on the screen. An unknown voice was heard.

"Hello?"

Levi hesitated to talk, but since he had answered the phonecall, he had no other choice but to respond.

"Hi," he said, "who is this?"

"That doesn't matter. What does matter is that all you're facing right now isn't real. Don't bring yourself down over something that never happened."

"W-what are you talking about? Something that never happened? What didn't happen then? And I'd still like to know who this is."

"Like I said, it doesn't matter who I am. Just remember who you are, Levi. You're stronger than this."

"Stronger than what? Explain this to me. I don't understand what you are talking about."

"Don't let go."

The person on the other end of the line had hung up before Levi could ask any other question. With confusion clearly masking his face, he stared at his phone. He wanted to dial the number and talk further, to get an explanation for the weird dialogue, but he didn't. Something in him told him it would be pointless. Who was that person and why did they tell him those things? It certainly distracted him from his self-distructing thoughts from earlier.

Levi turned the keys in the car's ignition and started up the engine. He was going to head home and think about it in a safe and quiet place, somewhere he could accompany himself with more distractions. Maybe he would even forget everything that had happened if he pushed himself far enough.

-

With the opening of the bottle pressed against his lips, he sat there. Completely clueless of what to do with his further life. Completely exhausted from everything that had happened in the past. He just sat there, still, with a half-empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. What was he doing anyways? He can't get drunk. Not anymore. He had ruined that for himself, the feeling of being drunk. But that didn't take away the massive hangovers he would get from drinking too much. Because he didn't exactly feel his limit, he kept on drinking and drinking until he decided to sleep and then wake up with a throbbing headache and a tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. Was it a good idea to finish this bottle? Shouldn't he try something else instead, something that worked better than alcohol?

Levi put the bottle down on the table and sighed. The mess from a few days ago still wasn't cleaned up, but he didn't feel the need to do that anymore. The urge had been taken away from him. Did Eren's death destroy him so badly, that he couldn't even bring himself to do things he normally would do straight-away upon seeing them? He figured the answer to that question would be a big and bold yes.

He lifted himself up from his seat to read the clock. 2:34 AM. Levi didn't feel tired at all and since never really slept much, he could easily just stay up a while longer. He walked towards the hallway and grabbed his coat. Outside, he checked his phone's battery and then tried looking for his wallet. He was carrying 20 bucks in cash. Hopefully he could buy what he was looking for with it.

Making his way down the streets he stumbled upon an odd-looking man, who could easily be selling the stuff he wanted. Levi walked up to him, which made the man face him. The man wore all black. A hoodie was covering the top of his face and the shadow formed underneath it hid any other facial features, except for a scruffy beard. Levi didn't even feel a tiny bit anxious when he stood in front of this character and asked him if he had something for him.

"That depends," the man said, now moving his weight from one foot to another. "Are you with the cops?"

Levi shook his head. "Prove it," ordered the man. Levi wondered how he would prove to this unknown person that he could be trusted. "How?" he then asked, scratching the back of his head.

"Okay, man. I got something. Prove it to me by using it right here and now," he showed a tiny bag of something that looked like big chunks of salt and a syringe, "I'm selling for 20 a gram."

The price struck Levi in the heart, but he had to face it; if he really wanted to forget, he had to push himself.

"Alright," Levi spoke, "just one gram then."

"Are you kidding me? You don't have more than just 20? Is this your first time buying this type of thing?"

Levi hesitated to answer and choked back a few words.

"Alright, it's cool, man. I'll show you how it's done."

The figure put away the syringe and opened the bag and lied the insides of it on a spoon. "You're lucky I sell by gram, considering all those cheapskate junkies out there." He then grabbed some sort of gas-based torch and lit it, then proceeded to hold the flame under the spoon. The substance melted rapidly and the man acted quickly to check the syringe and hold the needle in the liquid. Levi watched in disstress as the syringe filled with liquid. A tiny part was pushed out to remove the excess air. The man held out his hand. "Pay up," he commanded.

Levi grabbed his wallet and gave the only money he carried to the man.

"You have anything to tighten around your arm or not?" Levi shook his head. "Aye, I got you. I'll help a little brother out this time."

Levi's eye twitched at the sound of the world little. The man had seemed to notice and let out a chuckle. "Don't like being called out on your height? I'm sorry, dude."

He continued to grab a belt from his pocket and handed it to Levi, who took it and rolled up his sleeve. "Make sure to fasten it real tight. Don't want any mistakes to happen here," the man informed, now holding out the syringe. "I believe you can take care of this yourself."

"You're kind of stupid, actually. Handling it like this," Levi spoke as he held the needle close to the inside of his arm. He pushed it in diagonally and then pushed with his thumb on the back of the syringe, while watching how the liquid disappeared into his arm. "I could've taken the syringe from you, pull a gun out on you and then arrest you if I was a cop. That'd give me a suspect and evidence. Maybe better to find out a better way to play it safe," Levi informed.

"Yeah, you're right. But something in the look of your eyes told me you were reliable. I don't know, man, you just gave off that vibe. But now, you can keep that thing. Good luck on your way back home."

Levi released the belt from his arm and felt an immediate kick. For a moment he had to let himself get a little bit used to the feeling. He gave back the belt, but then started to notice his sight started to swirl.

He then suddenly realised the man was gone and he just stood there, letting the feeling sink in. All he could focus on now was controlling himself good enough to get home safely.