Paranoia.

L

'Don't ever do that again.' Grayson says, still looking worried that I'll have a breakdown again. 'I was scared that you were going to die, you kept asking me to kill you. What happend?'

'Just got a mental breakdown, don't worry, it's a daily thing.' I look at the ground and push open the door of the school. When I look at Grayson's face, I see that he only looks more worried than before. 'Look, they have a new vending machine.' I say, trying to act suprised.

'Shut up Ethan. Don't change topic. You know that you don't have me to support, defend or keep you company this year, so you just have to do this on your own.' I see tears grow in his eyes. 'Ethan, can you promise me one thing?'

'What is it?' I look at him while he lays one hand on my shoulder.

'Try to find someone to talk to please, because I don't think you can handle this on your own.'

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Math. Most boring class on earth. I walk in with my books and I take the place where I always sit. In the back, where no one talks to me, because they don't want to get caught turning around. I'm not worth detention. The place next to me usually stays empty, but this time a girl takes place next to me. She places her books on the desk and turns to me.

'Hey, do you possibly know if I'm in the right class?'

She looks at me with a big smile, and I don't know what to do. My body freezes again and she still looks at me. For one second I hear Grayson's voice in my head.

" Try to find someone to talk to please, because I don't think you can handle this on your own."

I take a deep breath and look at her.

'It... Ehm... It depends Ehm... On what class you need to.... To be in right now.' I stutter. I just actually talked to someone.

'Well, if this is chemistry, I'm in the right one.'

'This is math.'

The girl gives me that kind of 'Are you kidding me right now?' look and starts laughing. 'Fuck that, I'll just stay here, I need to make some friends anyway.'

'Savage.' I say under my breath, but she still seems to hear it. She laughs and puts on a pair of sunglasses which are laying on the desk.

'Hell yeah, I am. I'm Austen by the way, I'm new here. What's your name?' She looks me right in the eyes, leaning with her head on her hand.

'I'm Ethan.'

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'So, she just sat next to you and you didn't talk for about an hour?' Grayson asked at home.

'No.'

'What did you do then?' He flips a pancake like it's nothing and places it on my plate.

'I just talked to her.'

Like he's bitten by something, Grayson turns around and gives me a suprised look. 'You're joking right?'

'No, I am not. I just had the most normal conversation with that girl ever.' I'm really proud of myself. It will look like nothing, but after the incident 6 years ago, I haven't spoke to anyone except for Grayson. So, for me, it's a big achievement.

'I am so freaking proud of you. Come here for a hug.' He walks over to me and gives me an awkward sibling hug.

I sniff a few times when I smell something burning. When I look at the pancake in the pan, it's smoking. 'Gray. The pancakes are burning.'

'FUCK.'

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