Paranoia.

B

Note before: This chapter is a sort of flashback, to tell a bit of Ethan's backstory, written in Grayson's p.o.v.

-----------------------------

I watched him falling into pieces, on the middle of that bridge. She jumped. I ran over to Ethan, who was standing on that bridge about to do the same as she did, just to be together forever. I grabbed him by his waist and pulled him back.

'Grayson, what are you doing?' The look in his eyes broke me. He looked at me like I just did something unforgivable.

'Don't do this. You don't have to do this.' I said to him.

'What does it matter? There's no reason to live anymore. She's dead.' I see tears in his eyes and I can't deal with that. I've never seen him so heartbroken.

'Ethan, she wouldn't want you to do this. Please, Ethan.'

'She's dead, Grayson.' He fell on his knees and started to breath heavily. 'SHE'S FUCKING DEAD AND SHE'S NEVER COMING BACK!' He screamed at the ground.

'Ethan, please.'

'Stop begging, Grayson. Why would I stay alive?' The tears in his eyes killed me inside. 'There's no one that loves me here. The only one who truly loves me is dead.'

'Ethan, please. I love you.' I got tears in my eyes. 'Please don't go yet. I can't live without you.' I started to cry more and more, thinking of the idea to live without my brother.

'Fuck.' I heard him say. 'Grayson, no, stop. Please don't cry. Fuck.' He walked over to me and pulled me in a hug.

'Please don't go yet. Because if you jump, I jump with you.' I whispered.

-----one year has gone by-----

He was still broken. Still not the Ethan who always knew how to make me happy when I was sad, still not the Ethan who was extremely sexual to girls, just to tease them, still not the Ethan who saw the positives in everything, still not the Ethan I knew. He hadn't smiled in the year that had gone by. No smile, no laugh, not even a grin. He was gone, Ethan was gone.

'Hey Ethan, mom has found help for you. Maybe they'll fix you up and make you happy again.' I said to him, hoping he would go. I wanted him to go there so bad, so that he maybe get over it. Get over what happend.

'Someone who is as broken as I am, can't be fixed.' He said. 'Never.'

And he was right. But still, even though he didn't want to,  he went there, he went to that fucking place, for me, and only for me. We never should've brought him there. After four years he came back. And he was more broken than ever.

'Hey, Eth, how's it been?'

'It's my fault she's dead. I didn't treat her well. I should've done something, said something. I killed her. Everything I do is wrong.' It was the first thing he said as he came home. He truly hated himself. He started to breath heavily, the same as he did on that bridge five years ago, something that hadn't happend since that day. I tried to comfort him with a hug but he pushed me away.

'Don't come close to me, Grayson. I don't want to hurt you like I did to her.' And he walked away, saying nothing to me for the rest of the day. I had decided that maybe moving away from this town, could help him.

But in our new home, where we still live, I looked at him, sitting in the corner of the living room, with his head between his legs, whispering things about how he killed her, how he wasn't good enough for this world, and the only question I was asking myself was: 'What did they do with him?'