INTERNATIONAL - (A Chris Brown Fan Fiction Love Story)

CHAPTER 37

- BLAKE'S POV

I'd been out. When I got back in, Dad was telling me to go.

"What the fuck?" I said. "What's happened?"

He sniggered, anger and tears ready to burst. "Tell me what happened between you and Zahra, Blake! Enlighten me!"

'Fuck this shit,' I thought. 'Ion even know what to say.'

Mom came downstairs and joined the commotion - however, she didn't add to it and instead tried to calm Dad down. "Chris, sit down with him and have a mature and proper conversation. Treat him as an adult."

"Treat him as an adult? He's not even close. He's a fucking man whore! Actually, no - make that boy whore!"

"Mom, I'll leave. It's coo," I muttered.

"Oh, 'coo' for me or coo for you? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW UPSET I AM ABOUT THIS SHIT, BLAKE!"

"Blake, go to Jay's house or something for a while until this all blows over."

"OH, THIS ISN'T BLOWING OVER! EVER!" Dad continued to yell.

I went upstairs to pack my stuff up and then headed over to Jay's crib.

- ZAHRA'S POV

Justin had started inviting hundreds of other druggies to the house for all day parties. He was driving me crazy.

"Justin, I was thinking maybe you could host parties only every month or something," I said to him one day.

He laughed in my face, blowing smoke at the same time. "Bitch, it's my house and I'll do whatever the fuck I want in it. Got that?"

"Yep. Sorry."

Justin had changed me; I wasn't even a shadow of my former self. I'd lost all self belief and confidence that I once possessed and I had become a very vulnerable, easily pushed over human being with nothing to live for. Chris probably didn't even care about me anymore because he most likely knew by now what happened between Blake and I - and I thought he was the one that cared the most. Who the fuck was I? The only thing I had was my name. Zahra Liana Tran.

I'd seen Justin cheat on me twice before my own eyes. He'd said that I shouldn't leave him because I couldn't do better than him and I'd clung onto his every word, believing it all. Who'd want to be with me now? I was a waste of space and even worthless than shit.

One day, Justin started to become violent towards me. He'd helped me with my problems - he'd put a roof over my head, fed me and bought me everything a materialistic princess (I'm not one, by the way) could wish for - so I thought that I owed it to him to at least stay by his side. But he beat me black and blue and made my blood pour everyday. I didn't love him - I never did - and I tried to focus on that as I looked at myself being shoved against a damn mirror by him with all his force. I didn't see a person when I looked at him... I saw only a body. The Justin I once knew had become even more nasty.

"I mean it, Justin. Get away from me," I panted heavily, trying to whisper but hopelessly failing. "I love you, I love you. It's OK."

"You deserve all this... don't you see it yet, crazy bitch?"

"I see it, Justin."

He pressed against my body harder, sending shots of pain through me. "Then you say it. Say you're worthless and you don't deserve me."

I didn't say it straightaway. Yeah, I did hate myself and yeah, I had started to self harm because I hated myself so damn much. But I knew, deep down, that I was the one who deserved better than Justin and not the other fucking way round. I wasn't some kind of fucked up monster like him.

"Justin, please -"

He pushed harder on me. "Don't make me fucking tell you again."

The tears I'd been desperately fighting off before trickled down my burning cheeks. I wanted to grow some balls and leave his ass once and for all but I didn't have the strength in me; this incident proved that.

"I'm worthless and... I don't, I don't, don't... deserve you," I managed to bullshit.

"Now you can take your fucking clothes off," he muttered aggressively in my ear. "And I'm fucking warning you; if you don't do as I say then there'll be harsh as fuck consequences."

My eyes struggled to stay open and I could feel myself on the brink of consciousness. But then I saw Justin's gun on the dresser beside me. If I could only grab it somehow... I swear I'd shoot him.

I let go of the thought and let it swim away into my terror filled mind. I trembled with Justin's every breath against my neck.

"Everything off," he demanded, slapping my face. I cried with pain. "I'm going to fuck you harder than you've ever been fucked before."

My instincts took over and I found myself grabbing Justin's gun quickly and aiming it at his head. His facial expression changed and he ended his firm grasp, walking a few steps away from me.

"No, Zahra. You haven't got the fight in you to get a life sentence or go to Death Row."

With my free hand, I wiped my tears before holding the gun with two hands. "It's self defence. I know your plan was to kill me eventually."

"And where's your proof, bitch? Don't go jumping to accusations like that!"

"But you know it's the truth, Justin! You know you want my ass dead!"

"What, you've got a squeaky clean halo around your fucking head?! No, you obviously want me dead too otherwise you wouldn't be aiming that fucking gun at me!"

"You always turn your shit on me, like you're trying to make me look like the bad guy when it's actually you!" I sob and sniffle. "I'm sick of this shit, Justin! Really sick of it!"

I could feel myself thriving from my newfound confidence. I felt more fresh and alive. Like I could conquer anything.

His mood changed; he knew that I did have the guts to shoot him. "We can talk this out, baby. Just put the damn gun down, please."

I lowered the gun before walking over to him and holding it to his head. I heard a quiet murmur escape his voicebox. I pulled the trigger.

I grabbed my coat, slipped it on and tucked the gun into one of its inside pockets as I ran out of the house. Aware that there were still druggies present from last night's shenanigans, I went about my business with false calmness in order to not attract attention; they'd probably be so out of it anyway that they wouldn't notice. I doubt that they even noticed the gunshot.

I quickly sprinted out into the cold air and jumped into the car, setting off to nowhere in particular. I'd never been in trouble with the law before... but I liked the thrill and adrenaline that was now flowing through me. Anyway, what the fuck did I have to live for? No one had my back on this morbid planet and I didn't have their's - but that didn't make me feel sad or anything. It made me feel elated.

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A/N:

Merry Christmas! Here's the next chapter. :).

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