The Library Seirune

Chapter 22: Confessions

Haven't proofread~

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Chapter 22: Confessions

I knew it was no good trying to get away from Ethan, but I had no choice. The fear of Levira suddenly disappearing had been hunting me a lot lately.

After the halloween celebration, I immediately went back to my room and laid face down into my pillow. I thought, and thought. And I still couldn't figure it out. In the end, when I couldn't take the pressure of the question of what was happening anymore, I messaged Belinda about it. She told me to meet both her and Faey the next day at a nearby cafe. And there, through Belinda's loud exclamations and major excitement, and through Faey's calmness, I found out why.

I was in love with Ethan.

That was the answer to all the heart beating quickly, and the hyperventilating whenever he came close, or whenever we touched.

After that, I went back home like a zombie, Levira floating quietly beside me. The whole time, I was thinking... How could it be? Why did I let myself fall in love without even knowing it myself? Didn't I care about Levira anymore?

Then she told me this, "Ayla, it's okay. It's kind of impossible to not fall in love at least once anyway. It's really okay for you to have found someone whom you think is more important than I am."

Solemnly, I replied, "No, it's not okay. I feel so guilty now. After all you have done for me, sticking by my side no matter what I was going through, I really don't want to see you disappear just like that." Even though you'll never be able to see your family...

If she realised the depth of what I'd just said, she didn't show it. "So you're okay with not getting together with Ethan?"

I nodded determinedly. "I'll never admit out loud that I am -" I gulped, not daring to continue.

That was about two weeks ago now.

Right now, Kevin was carrying me down the stairs while I was struggling and flinging vulgarities at him. Levira was flying around and around his head, hitting him softly. Dear old Belinda had been trying really hard to convince me to go with the class to the picnic they'd planned. For the past few days, I'd prayed and prayed for the weather to turn bad, but it seemed like the sky wasn't on my side. The sun was shining brightly, but even when that was so, the temperatures weren't high to make me sweat like a pig -- winter was calling.

When I saw Ethan standing on the ground below the stairs, I immediately froze and subconsciously, I started to take his presence in. I haven't really had the chance to look properly at him these few days, with me avoiding him and all. He was facing sideways, his face away from me. His black hair... His black eyes which were looking troubled... And his jaws that were clenched. All of it made him look like a depressing picture no one would want to see, and I knew it was because of me. I wanted so much to get out of Kevin's hold right now, so I could run to him, hug him and take his sadness away, but I stayed where I was.

"Why aren't you struggling anymore?" Kevin looked down at me slyly.

I huffed and looked away, continuing with what I was meant to do: escape from the outing, because he was going to be there too. But of course it was no use.

Ethan seemed to have heard our arrival, and he turned his head to look at me. I quickly looked away, not wanting to see his pain. He didn't deserve this kind of treatment. He didn't even know why I suddenly became so cold towards him. It wasn't fair to him.

Kevin stopped, and slowly put me down.

"Our little princess is finally here, huh." Galvin smirked at me, while Faey nodded silently beside him.