The Dragon

Love or Freedom?

I was sitting in blackness. I couldn't see shit, which unhinged me a bit. But something took me by surprise. Usually in this sort of situation, I would've had trouble breathing, or felt like I might pass out, or vomit...or all three at the same time. Not fun. But I felt...at ease. I smiled as relief came over me. It was gone. Anxiety, my fears, all of it. Yet I knew something wasn't right. Then I thought of my family...my poor mom and Lindsey. They were gone too. Then, all of the sudden, I heard a muffled voice, which sounded like it was right in my ear. A voice only I could hear.

"Oh my god...my son..."

Mom.

"Mark...Mark? Mark!"

Lindsey.

"You have a choice."

Me.

I knew what that choice was. Stay here and be free of anxiety, but also lose those I care about. Or go to the voices and be with them, but keep living through the same hell I've been dealing with my whole life. But as the voices got louder and more desperate, I knew there was only one option. I'm not leaving them.

~~~

"Mark!"

My eyes shot open as I felt like I was gasping for air. The bright lights of the hospital were blinding and my vision was blurry, but I could make out two figures standing beside me as doctors rushed around my bed.

"He's alive. Get him stable."

Then I started moving and saw the red headed figure start to run after me, clearly sobbing, as the other one grabbed her, holding her back and eventually just holding her as she gave up fighting. Then everything started to go black again.

~~~

This time, my eyes slowly drifted open, getting used to everything, which was easier since it was much darker now. I saw my mom sleeping across two chairs by the wall, and Lindsey was asleep in the chair next to my bed, lying her head down next to me. I reached up, my hand shaking ever so slightly, and ran my fingers through her hair, smiling. Then she started to move, looking up on my before her eyes became slightly teary and she smiled at me.

"Hey, sleepyhead."

"I'd have to say the same to you. Although I think j have a pretty good excuse for sleeping most of the day for once."

She laughed a little when I said that. We both tried to keep our voices down to avoid waking up my mom or anyone else. I figured I'd let her sleep now.

"Well, I guess getting your purse didn't go as planned, did it?"

Maybe my jokes were in poor taste, but she knew not to take me too seriously.

"Yeah. I did not plan that we would get mugged and you'd get shot."

"Did you at least get the purse back?"

"No...which sucks big time. I had some important stuff in there."

"Yeah, all your cards and your license..."

"I shut down my cards and stuff and can get my license re-printed. But I had some photos in my wallet that were special. I kept them with me throughout the day for when I was down. And now they're gone..."

"What were they photos of?"

"Some were of me and my family, but most were actually of us. I still had the Polaroid your mom took at your birthday party the year we met."

"Yes, the party where I invited one whole friend. I'm sure it was a blast for you."

"Actually you'd be surprised. We had the time of our lives."

"Yeah...we did, didn't we?"

We both nodded at the fond memory. It was a shame that her picture was lost. But my mom did take one for each of us. Maybe I could give her mine when we got back home.

"Hey Mark?"

"Hm?"

"Well, there was a moment there where...well, you're heart stopped. You were dead. It scared the crap out of us. But...what was it like? What happened?"

"Well, everything was gone. It was just empty. And you girls were gone and...my anxiety was gone. I heard you guys talking to me, and my own voice in my head told me I had a choice. Like Harry Potter kind of shit."

"Dealing with it or everything going away..."

"It was weird. I felt so...free. It sounds horrible, but I've been held back my entire life, so to finally experience what it's like for it to just...disappear, it was relieving."

"Then...why didn't you stay? I'm happy you didn't, you have no idea. I would have been crushed without you. But...I'm curious."

"Because I love you. I love both of you. And if I get to see you two, even if I have to deal with that for the rest of my life, then it's worth it."

She grabbed my hand and put her other hand on my cheek, caressing it with her thumb as I leaned into her hand.

"I love you too, Mark. We both do, so much. You have no idea."

"Well, you know, I am pretty awesome..."

She just started laughing.

"Yes. Yes you are."

And then she kissed me. Hard. And I loved every second of it.