I regret not letting myself love you, regret realizing too late how much you really mean to me. Though I find it completely unfair how I was wronged in the end and still you found love...it makes me believe that I am nor will I ever be enough for someone. I am broken and cannot be fixed a ticking time bomb that no one knows how to disarm. Everyone that has ever loved me I have pushed away; have told them I am not ready when in reality I just want you. I compare everyone to you, compare everyone to our love, my first love. In the back of my head I am imagining us a few years in the future, together and happy. I wish it were true but I am so lonely now it saddens me. What am I supposed to do if my purpose is not to love you? In the moment, with my friends hyping my head the decisions seemed so right. Now I feel stupid, like I made the wrong choice though I know it wasn't mine to make. You don't want me, you have found another and I think that that is what is tearing me apart. The idea that you now love another when you once loved me. The fact that you have moved on and left me be, its my fault right? I should have loved harder should have tried more than I did.
Grief...that's what this is. Some people grieve for their entire lives, I just hope that I find someone to help in taking the pain away.
YOU ARE READING
Confessions of a crazy
De Todothoughts and feelings of mine. just need somewhere to post them. you don't have to read vote or comment though if you do please nothing negative.
