10 Things I Would do if I were a...

Angel

Angel

~Song: Cowboys and Angels, by Dustin Lynch

1.       Buy Lots of Barf Bags ~ “We may experiencing some turbulence”

Airplanes. A giant metal flying death trap that is packed to the gills with sweaty people, crying babies, and icky food. What could possibly make it worse? That’s right, turbulence. Nothing can make the ride worse than the bumpy wiggle of the plane sending people reeling, and items toppling. It’s especially worse for people who have air sickness, or really any other kind of motion sickness. They get queasy; it really is no fun. It’s even worse on smaller planes, less mass to suppress the bumpy air currents. When talking plane size, can a one person be any smaller? Well, if your and angel, it can. When you’re an angel, you are the plane, so it can’t get any smaller; the turbulence couldn’t get any worse either.

This is why, if I were an angel I would carry lots and lots of barf bags. I personally don’t get bad motion sickness, but I’m sure, that if turbulence was that bad, I would need a barf bag, or six. I wouldn’t want to upchuck all over the local flightless population, and I’m sure they wouldn’t enjoy it either. Barf bags are the only foreseeable solution to my problem. I would need some sort of motion sickness pills as well, to combat the green gills that I know I would have going on just to fly around the block. I mean, come on! I fly out to get my groceries, just a few miles away, and I would need a bag just to hold my barf bags and take, like, enough motion sickness pills for two people. I merely want to do the world a favor, keep the streets clean and whatnot.

So, when I turn green from turbulence, I’ll always be prepared with my stash of barf bags.

2.       Find a Flying Dog ~ “Fetch boy!”

The worst part of being an angel would have to be the loneliness. There are only so many flying people in the world. And what if I don’t want to be with people, but still want some companionship? I would have to the thing that most normal lonely people do, get a pet. Now, I’m, hands down, a dog person. So a dog would be the only practical pet to get. But, my problem is that I need my companion to be able to move in the same plane that I do. The plane being the sky, as in flying. So, unfortunately, the type of dog I would need would be the elusive winged type.

But, if I were an angel, I would find one of those rarities, and we would be best buds. My dog would have to be a bigger type; like a Lab, or a German Shepard; little breeds just annoy me. I would name him flappers; he’s a flying dog after all. We would snuggle in a tree, or in the house. And Flappers and I would play fetch! I mean, I’d have that random Frisbee that just kinda floats above my head, why not use it? I could throw in really high and he would always catch it. We wouldn’t have to worry about getting it stuck in a tree either. The one down side of using my halo as a Frisbee would be the drool. I’m sure it would be everywhere after Flappers gnawing on it, and licking it. If I ever put it back above my head, I would get drool dripped into my hair. So, I would keep a whole big box of Wet Ones with me whenever Flappers was with me.

Slob away Flappers. We’ll always be best buddies. 

3.        Get a Guitar ~ Much more with the times than a harp.

When you think of angels, what is the first instrument that comes to your head? I tend to think harps; the instrument that they are most commonly depicted with. The old fashioned creations made of wood, or metal, and a few strings, it’s not really easy to hold, and it´s definitely not with the times. How many people play harps now a days? Not many.

So, if I were an angel, I would update my musical gadgetry to keep with the times. A guitar might not be a conventional as a harp, but it would sure be easier to carry. I haven’t seen a harp with a handy back strap like the guitar. They are the same basic principle, sort of, they both have strings. So, that means that there is still at least a twinge of traditional element in it. With my guitar, I can play more contemporary music this way too. I’m not that into slow, crooning music, so I would learn to play music that I like.