pretend (phan)

eleven

After arriving back home, Dan shut the door behind them and looked at his drunk husband who was giggling over nothing. Normally he wouldn't have let him drink so much, but then again he did see his crappy parents, so he figured he needed a distraction.

All that was left to do now was to put Phil to bed and go back to working at his desk.

"Let's get you to bed, alright?"

"But I'm not sleeeepy," Phil slurred, a smile locked onto his face.

"Well it's late, so too bad."

Phil pouted out his lips, letting Dan take his hand and drag him up the stairs. As soon as they made it to the bedroom, Phil let himself fall onto the mattress, yawning. Dan rolled his eyes and moved forward, slipping off his husband's shoes and socks.

Phil lazily kicked off his own pants, sitting up. "Can I wear one of your shirts?"

Dan nodded, picking a random shirt out of his closet and slipping it over Phil's head once he got his button-down off. Phil climbed to the headboard of the bed, Dan pulling the blankets over him and tucking him in. Tabs, the kitten, hopped onto the mattress to lay at Phil's feet.

"Comfy?" Dan huffed.

Phil shook his head, shutting his eyes. "I want cuddles."

Dan responded, "I have to work, Phil." His husband then simply didn't reply, looking as if he were asleep already. Dan went into the bathroom to change, going to his laptop and beginning to work. It wasn't even a full ten minutes before Phil was yelling from upstairs.

"Daniel!"

Dan tried to ignore it, trying to finish working and moving his fingers on the keyboard faster until his husband's voice rang out again.

"Daaaaaan!"

Dan groaned, getting up out of his office chair and stomping upstairs to their bedroom to find Phil sitting up with his arms out, making grabby hands.

"I still want cuddles."

"Cuddle Tabs!"

"She's too tiny, you're like a giant," Phil pointed out, a tired smile on his lips. "But not like those ugly green ones with yellow toenails, you're like the pretty ones that everybody likes to look at."

Dan hid a grin. "There's not any pretty giants out there, Phil."

"But you're here."

Dan was thankful the room was dark, hiding his reddening cheeks at the simple statement. Yes, he was intoxicated but hey: drunken words are sober thoughts, right? Dan just stood there for awhile, Phil keeping his arms outstretched and whining until the brunette surrendered and got into bed.

Phil made a noise of satisfaction, instantly wrapping his arms around his husband and leaning his head on his chest.

"You're soft and squishy," Phil pointed out, as if it were nothing but a regular observation. Dan giggled, Phil's head bouncing with the jumping of his chest.

"And that's a good thing?"

"A very good thing. It's just more to love," Phil yawned.

"Okay Phil," Dan felt his lips twitching into a smile, feeling a spark of confidence hit him upon Phil's compliment.

"Hey Dan?" He spoke up after awhile of silence, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the hem of Dan's soft shirt. Dan hummed a response and Phil continued. "I used to wish my parents were dead. I used to wish that they died and that's why they never checked up on me, because I just couldn't understand what I did for them to stop being my parents, y'know?" Dan reached out and began petting Phil's hair at his sad tone, sighing. "Turns out they just stopped caring. And from then on I hated people."

Then Phil looked up at his husband, eyes sparkling with tears. "But I don't hate you."

"I don't hate you, either," Dan spoke softly, running a hand through the front of Phil's hair. He then leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Phil's head, Phil relaxing into his touch and leaning back on his chest again.

"I'm tired now, 'night."

Dan let his eyes run over his husband's figure, eyes slowly falling shut as sleep overtook him as well.

"Goodnight, Phil."

ღ

Dan wakes up to the sound of flushing, opening his eyes to see Phil walking out of his bathroom and wiping his mouth.

"I am hungover."

"I figured," Dan joked. Phil moaned in distress, flopping onto the bed and exhaling.

"Why did you let me drink so much?"

"I didn't want to make you mad by trying to control you when you were already in a bad mood."

Phil rolled his eyes and turned on the TV, shocked to find his tear-streaked face on it. "They got pictures of me crying?"

"Phil Lester was seen crying at the Masquerade Ball last night after seeing his parents after years of no contact. . ."

"A-are you kidding? How did they know? Did you tell the paparazzi shit about me?"

"No!" Dan told him honestly. "My parents must've said something to them-"

"As if that makes it any better! This is what I'm tired of, Dan- you letting them control your life and what people hear about you- about us! They rule your every aspect and opinion and you never stand up for yourself, because truth is you don't know any better! You've grown up with your parents at your side your whole life, never stopping to think 'hey, I'm in my 20s now, maybe I should grow up'! But nope, here you are, letting your husband's personal life be revealed on live television!"

"Phil, this isn't my fault-"

"It is! Everything that's happened is your fault! If you would've just stood up for yourself years back, saying you'll marry who you want, we would've never met and I would still be fine on my own! Instead my parents show up because I'm married to you. Instead my roommate only talks to me because of you. Everything leads back to your selfishness. I don't care how much money you have, because in the end it won't buy you anything but alcohol and drugs for your self-pity once you realize how full your life is of bullshit."

"Why don't you leave then? You're the one with the constant mood swings, telling me you hate me and then saying I'm an exception! Make up your mind! Either you want me for my money, or you-"

"Are you joking? You really want to bring money into this? Maybe I don't like all the fame! Maybe I just wanted a small house in a small city and a small family. Instead we're here. Not once have you asked how I feel about all this."

"How do you feel about this then, Phil?" Dan snapped.

"I wanna go home, that's what I want."

"Then go."

And eventually, Phil did. He picked up his cat, put on decent clothing, and went right back to his old neighborhood.

And Dan would finally learn what it was like to be alone.