If You

The Introduction

Emily followed the stage manager to the private dressing room in the back of the arena. Conversations went on all around her, but they were in fast-paced Korean, which meant nothing to her. The stage manager was short and balding, and he kept peering over his shoulder to see if Emily was still following him.

They arrived at a plain grey door and the manager knocked twice before opening it. He gestured for Emily to enter and, after a steadying breath, she did.

The room was long, with white walls and brown hardwood floors. The entire right side was a single mirror with a counter covered in hair and makeup paraphernalia. On her left were racks of costumes and shoes neatly lined up, waiting to be plundered. But it was the middle of the room that concerned her.

They lay sprawled on overstuffed couches, talking quietly amongst themselves. Several people, their entourage she assumed, hovered around them, checking clipboards and making phone calls. But they didn't notice, likely used to tuning out the chaos around them. None of them noticed her enter, except the one on the far right. He had bright red hair swept up into a huge mohawk and he was wearing an obscene amount of black leather. Emily met his eyes and smiled and he looked away.

One of the entourage spotted her and slid his phone into his jacket. "Miss Carter!" he said, hurrying over to her. Emily shook his hand firmly. "You must be Mr. Sagowa. It's nice to meet you," she said, summoning a pleasant smile.

"The pleasure is all mine, Miss Carter. Come, I'll introduce you to the boys."

Mr. Sagowa led her over to the couch and cleared his throat loudly. "This is Miss Carter, the writer I told you about. She flew in from America this morning. Miss Carter," he said, addressing Emily, "this is BIGBANG."

Emily was familiar with KPOP, especially the legendary BIGBANG. She smiled again. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

The boys smiled and stood to shake her hand, except for Mohawk Man. He remained still, tilting his head to one side as he watched her.

"We've got an hour or so before the car arrives, so why don't you get to know the band a little before we head out?" Mr. Sagowa suggested. Emily nodded and Mr. Sagowa gave a satisfied smile. "Excellent. We go now," he announced, snapping his fingers. The entourage filed out of the room and Mr. Sagowa closed the door behind him.

The room felt awkwardly quiet after the entourage's steady buzz was gone. Emily sat in a chair across from the band and crossed her legs. "I'm afraid my Korean is limited to hello, goodbye and excuse me," she said, smiling wryly. Two of the boys chuckled and Emily's heart lifted a little.

"I'm Seunghyun, but you can call me Seungri," the one on the left said. He wore a black and white plaid suit and had short black hair. He looked younger than the rest of the group and seemed to be the most relaxed. "This is Daesung," he said, nudging the guy next to him. Daesung had on a long white trench coat and platform boots that any 80s hair band would have been jealous of. His hair was white too and covered one of his eyes. He smiled and nodded, propping his feet on the ottoman in front of him.

"Next to him is Youngbae," Seungri said. Youngbae was bare-chested and wore the tightest black pants Emily had ever seen. His black hair was long and fell in his eyes, which were a surprising shade of green. He exuded sex appeal and she glanced down before she blushed.

"I'm Seunghyun too," the next one said preemptively, his deep voice startling Emily. His hair was blue and combed into neat waves around his face. He wore a neon pink jacket and black skinny jeans with lightning bolts running down the sides. He had a kind expression on his face and Emily immediately liked him. Seunghyun looked over at Mohawk Man, raising an eyebrow.

He was watching her intently, the smoky eyeliner around his eyes making him seem mysterious. "Jiyong," he said finally, giving her a slight, almost indiscernible smile. He lounged on a loveseat perpendicular to Emily, like a great cat deciding whether he wants to pounce.

Emily smiled. "I'm Emily," she said, looking at each boy in turn. "I'm excited to be here and learn about you guys."

Jiyong looked at the floor and Seunghyun cleared his throat. "I think we should be honest with you," he began seriously.

"Seunghyun!" Seungri protested.

Seunghyun gave Seungri a stern look. "This isn't an arrangement we're comfortable with. To be honest, the idea of a writer living with us and writing about us is... invasive. But Sagowa is convinced that this book will be good for our careers and public image."

Jiyong shifted in his seat and Emily sensed that he shared these feelings. "You're right, Seunghyun," she said decidedly. They all perked up at this.

"You're all already under a lot of scrutiny by the public, here and internationally," Emily continued. "Having a stranger spend every moment with you eliminates what little privacy you still have. I fully understand if you feel resentful or angry towards me."

None of the boys spoke, waiting to hear what she would say next.

"However," Emily said, "I tend to agree with Mr. Sagowa. A book about your lives as the members of BIGBANG will do incredibly well in almost every market. But that's not why I agreed to write it."

"Then why?" Jiyong demanded, jutting his chin out.

"Because you deserve someone who will write a respectful, honest tribute, not some sordid exposé. I want you to have some control over what's published and what isn't. If you choose to share something personal with me, I swear it won't be in the book unless you approve it. In return, I hope that you will all be honest with me, and I'd like to think we could be friends before it's all over."

The boys mulled over what she'd said, weighing her words carefully. "That's very kind of you," Daesung said finally, speaking for the first time.

"It's only what I would want someone to do for me," Emily replied. "Can we do this?"

One by one each boy nodded, Jiyong only giving a slight jerk of his head.

"Wonderful," Emily said, smiling with relief. She sensed Jiyong's animosity and wondered at it.

Mr. Sagowa came back and announced that the car had arrived. Emily followed the band outside and watched them get into their limo.

"Aren't you going to ride with them?" Mr. Sagowa asked.

Emily shook her head. "They need time to talk," she said. "This isn't going to be easy for them."

"Not for Jiyong, you mean," Mr. Sagowa interjected. "He fought the producers endlessly about this and was pretty unhappy when he lost. The others will come around, but you may have to work on him for a while."

Another car pulled up and Mr. Sagowa opened the door, gesturing for Emily to climb in. He followed and closed the door firmly.

"You've made a big commitment, Ms. Carter," he said as the car pulled away from the curb. "It could take years to write this book. But your editor assured me that you would be up for the challenge."

Emily stared out the window, remembering the look on Jiyong's face. "I hope so," she whispered.