If You

Lost Track

Emily checked her watch again. She'd been waiting for almost two hours and Jiyong still hadn't appeared. This is the third interview he's blown off, she thought, annoyed. She checked her phone for the thousandth time, hoping he had at least texted her, but there was nothing. She tossed her phone down and glared at the empty chair in front of her. He's not the only one with deadlines, she thought, getting up.

She walked across the building to the studio and the producers exchanged a confused glance as she came in. Jiyong was in the recording booth laying down a track, completely oblivious to her presence, so Emily folded her arms and waited. Finally the track ended and Jiyong came out of the studio. "I think that was a good-" he saw Emily and stopped. "Hey babe, is everything okay?" he asked, pulling his headphones off his neck.

"Did you forget something?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. Jiyong checked his phone and swore. "I'm​ sorry, Emily, I totally lost track of time."

"That's the third interview you haven't shown up for."

"I said I was sorry," he replied, tossing his headphones onto the desk. "We'll do it tomorrow. Wait, that's the fan meet. Maybe we could-"

"I have to send it for editing in three days, Jiyong! You're not the only one who has a job to do!"

"I'm doing my best!" Jiyong snapped. "I've been with you a lot over the last few days, you know!"

Emily felt a rush of anger. "Do you mind?" she barked at the gaping producers. They jumped and got up, leaving the studio immediately. "Don't you dare make this my fault," she hissed.

"Whose fault is it, then? You can't just come in here and yell at me in front of my team!"

"I never asked for your help!" she shouted. "I was perfectly willing to deal with this on my own, but you just had to get involved!"

"Well excuse me for caring!" he yelled. "It's just a stupid interview, Emily! Stop being such a pain in the ass!"

"Me?! Look who's talking! You've been a pain in the ass since day one! The only reason I'm in this horrific situation is because I'm with you!"

"Get out!" he bellowed.

"I will!" she yelled, turning on her heel and leaving the studio. She swiped angry tears off her cheeks as she waited for the elevator, seething wildly.

******

Jiyong leaned close to the mirror, inspecting his hair carefully. He'd decided to go back to blonde, this time more platinum than golden. Soo had swept it up off his face to show off the tiny tattoos drawn on his skin. He stared at his reflection, leaning heavily on the counter. Normally the first day of shooting a video excited him, but he just felt drained. He hadn't spoken to Emily since their fight, but every time her words reverberated in his mind his anger would flare all over again. His eyes were shadowy under his makeup, so he grabbed some concealer and dabbed another layer under his eyes. There, instant happy, he thought, closing the concealer again.

There was a knock on the door and Jiyong straightened up. "I'm almost ready," he called, grabbing a big white watch off the counter. The door opened softly. "I said I'm-" he glanced up and stopped mid-sentence. Emily closed the door behind her, biting her lip. "Hi," she whispered.

"Hi," he said, grabbing his jacket.

"Your necklaces are tangled," she said, coming over to him. She went to separate them, but he pulled away. "I can fix it," he grumbled, putting his jacket on.

"Are you still mad?" she asked.

"Are you?" he shot back.

"I was, but Youngbae came over and-"

"Made you feel guilty so you would apologize?" he finished.

"At least I'm trying!" she snapped. "What was your plan, pretend it never happened?"

"You're the one who came in and yelled at me, remember?" he retorted.

"Why are you pitching such a fit?" she demanded.

"Maybe I'm just too involved," he said sarcastically. "I have to go."

He brushed past her and walked down the hallway toward the set. He took a deep breath and pushed aside his swirling emotions. Time to work, he thought, entering the room.

******

Emily sat in Jiyong's makeup chair and put a hand to her mouth. How did this get so out of hand? she wondered, looking at her reflection. She hadn't meant to say any of those things, but now there was no taking them back. Does this mean we're over?

The door opened and Emily immediately wiped her eyes.

"Jiyong? Are you... oh."

"He's on set, Seungri," she replied quietly. Seungri closed the door behind him. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I thought I heard yelling just now."

"I think I hurt him," she whispered. "I hurt him more than I realized, and I don't know if I can fix it."

"You know how he is," Seungri said, sitting on the couch. "He can be a little-"

"No," Emily interrupted, shaking her head. "This is on me, and I deserve whatever happens next."

"Nothing's going to happen," he told her. "You're not the first couple to fight, you know."

Emily stood fluidly. "I'll see you later," she said, leaving the room.